


Simple Love

by MagicMyth83



Category: MLQC: Fandom, love and producer, 恋与制作人 | Liàn Yǔ Zhì Zuò Rén | Mr. Love: Queen's Choice (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMyth83/pseuds/MagicMyth83
Summary: Emma was beyond ecstatic that she and Gavin had taken the next step in their relationship, but despite his kisses that brought her to her knees and lovemaking that left her breathless, their relationship status was unclear, and she couldn't help but sense that Gavin was keeping something from her...that there was a part of him that was beyond her reach.Meanwhile, Gavin is amazed that Emma - the girl of his teenage dreams - was finally in his arms. But, he wonders if he has what it takes to keep her by his side. Old doubts resurface, and he knows that its only a matter of time before something has to give.Will they be able to clear up their misunderstandings and misgivings before it's too late?***Spoiler warning – References to various dates as available on EN server, as well as Rumors & Secrets content ****School Uniform Play**Kink: Sex in childhood bedroom*
Relationships: Bai Qi x MC, Bái Qǐ | Gavin x MC, Gavin x MC
Comments: 9
Kudos: 89





	1. Concerns of The Heart

_Knock! Knock!_

Emma looked up from the documents on the table before her to find Minor standing at the conference room doorway.

“Hey, Boss,” he began, “just coming to let you know that your two o’clock appointment is here.”

“It’s that time already?” Emma re-stacked her paperwork and double-checked that her presentation was projecting correctly on the screen. “I will be down in two minutes.”

“I’ll go and get Anna and the others.”

“Thanks, Minor.”

Standing up, Emma straightened her skirt-suit, cleared her throat and fixed a smile on her face. She was about to meet a prospective client and this presentation had to be impressive because they only had this once chance to get it right. The prospective client was a well-known not-for-profit organization that wanted to produce a documentary highlighting the correlation between homelessness and crime, particularly in relation to disaffected youth and vulnerable children. It was an understandably sensitive subject and given its potentially polarizing nature Emma had wanted to approach the topic with opened, unbiased eyes in order to best present the client’s concerns and aims. Thankfully, she had an acquaintance at the local police station who was able to introduce her to people that helped her understand the topic from various perspectives. _Let’s do this!_ Psyching herself up, Emma went to greet her guests.

An hour and thirty minutes later, Emma was breathing a sigh of relief while Anna was smiling at her like a proud parent.

“Well done, Emma.” Anna praised, her smile widening. “That could not have gone any better.”

“Yeah Boss, you totally blew them away,” Willow said from across the conference table.

“I was just doing what I was supposed to do,” Emma brushed off the praise, feeling it unwarranted when the real work was still ahead of them.

“Don’t be so modest, Emma,” Anna tutted, “you exceeded their expectations and even I could see how passionate you are about this project. You won the client over not only by your knowledge and understanding of the various social issues regarding homelessness and children, but also because of the way you emphasized human vulnerabilities. You made the piece about real people, _relatable_ people with backgrounds and stories that the audience can empathize with. You made the piece more than just being about statistics, and the client believes this is the most crucial factor in bringing awareness to their cause.”

“Okay, I’ll admit I worked super hard on this proposal,” Emma acquiesced, “but seeing as the actual filming of the documentary still has to begin, I don’t want to celebrate prematurely. I really hope we can do this documentary justice.”

“We will, Boss. You don’t have to worry about that,” Minor assured her. “Don’t forget, we’re a team!”

“Of course, we are!” Emma laughed. “And, I believe it won’t hurt for our team to celebrate…just a little.”

“Drinks tonight?” Willow suggested.

“Could we make Officer Gavin an honorary member of our team?” Kiki asked cheekily. “After all, he was the one who secured meetings with the director of Loveland City Homeless Shelter, the head of Child Protection Services, the coordinator at the Loveland Juvenile Detention Center, as well as that gentleman from the Drug Enforcement Agency. Right, Boss?”

“Oh, can we? Can we?” Minor clapped his hands excitedly. “I can call him. Let me call him, please?”

“Yeah! See if he wants to come out with us tonight,” Willow added.

“It’s Friday! Let’s party!” Kiki hi-fived Willow.

The mention of Gavin’s name made Emma flush under the collar of her blouse. She wanted to see him too, but she knew better than the others just how pre-occupied with work Gavin could be. Still, she could be hopeful.

“Sure, call him,” she told Minor, “see if he’s free to join us.”

Minor _whooped_ and was on his phone two seconds later, waving his hand at Kiki and Willow to quiet down while he waited for his call to connect.

“Gavin, bro’! How are you? Are you busy?” Minor asked, excitedly.

From beside Minor, Emma could hear Gavin’s voice, and while she couldn’t make out his words, just the sound of his polite yet no-nonsense tones were enough to send small shivers along her arms.

“…Oh, sorry to bother you, so I’ll make this quick,” Minor rushed to say. “Would you like to join us for celebratory drinks tonight? The Boss landed a new contract today…oh, okay…yeah, she’s right here…just a sec, I’ll give her the phone.”

Emma took Minor’s phone when he held it out to her and greeted Gavin warmly. “Hi, Gavin. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Gavin replied still using the same polite, no-nonsense tone. “And, you?”

“Super!” she responded brightly. “As Minor just mentioned, we’ve had a very successful afternoon.”

“This is the pitch for that NGO, right?”

“That’s right, and we couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Me? All I did was introduce you to some people.”

Emma had been expecting his response. It was his nature to down-play praise and refuse credit even if it was deserved.

“You did so much more than that,” Emma insisted, “you gave us your time and acted as our intermediary, and being in your line of work, your perspective really helped to bridge the gap in our understanding of such a sensitive issue.”

“Hmm…is that so?” Gavin said, thoughtfully, his tone softening a fraction. “Well, I’m just glad I could help.”

“You really did,” Emma continued, “which is why we would love it if you could come and join us tonight?”

Gavin sighed then, and Emma knew he was going to turn them down.

“I’m really sorry, Emma, but I’m right in the middle of something at the moment, and it could take all night before it’s resolved.”

“I understand,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment.

“But, you guys should all have fun,” Gavin told her, “just don’t overdo it, you’re a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.”

“Okay, I’ll take it easy,” Emma promised him, laughing softly.

“That’s reassuring.” Gavin sounded pleased. “Could you put Minor back on the phone?”

“Sure…and, take care, okay?” Emma was reluctant to let him go.

“Will do…uh, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Emma handed Minor his phone back and listened to Minor’s responses to the instructions Gavin was undoubtedly giving him.

“…Sure, bro’…no problem…I’ll make sure she doesn’t drink too much…and, of course I’ll make sure she gets home safely…you can count on me!” Minor ended the call momentarily, but then his eyes widened and he swore. “Oh, damn it!”

“What? What is it?” Emma asked in concern.

“I forgot to remind him about the Foundation Day Festival at our old high school next weekend.”

“That’s next weekend?” Emma frowned.

“You forgot, too?” Minor _tsked._

“Come on, you two,” Anna interrupted them. “Let’s pack up so we can get the party started!”

“Did _you_ really just say _that_ , Anna?” Kiki giggled as they all filed out of the conference room.

After treating her co-workers to a meal at Meetery Eatery, they continued onto their favorite bar on Morrow Way for celebratory cocktails. Emma was genuinely happy about the new contract and she was having a good time, yet her brief conversation with Gavin had reminded her of the uncertainty about their relationship that had been gnawing at her over the past few weeks. What were they to each other, exactly? She wanted to believe that they were on the same page, but maybe she’d read his signals all wrong. She was typically slow about those things to begin with, so getting wires crossed was no stretch of the imagination.

She had no prior relationship experience to speak of, and romance was something she’d only ever seen in the movies and dramas she watched, and read about in the _shoujo mangas_ of her youth. Things always seemed so clear and straightforward for the protagonists in those situations because the endings were all predetermined. It did not matter what choices the characters made because a happy ending was guaranteed. However, real life was unpredictable and the choices she and Gavin made held no such guarantee. Still, she expected that things would be clearer after they slept together…but, sex did not guarantee security, she knew that much. Gavin always treated her with such tenderness and behaved just as a boyfriend would, and all considered they would be seen as a couple by everyone around them. Yet, she was feeling insecure and she couldn’t understand why.

“Hey, Boss.” Minor’s voice intruded into her thoughts. “What time will you be going to the Foundation Day Festival?”

“Hmm?” Emma frowned in thought. “I have some chores to do in the morning, so probably around lunch. What about you?”

“I’m actually going to be there all day as a representative of the alumni. It’s the 100th anniversary of the school after all, so this year there are a lot more formalities compared to other years. I believe Gavin was asked to take part too, but he declined. Mr. Keller told him that he’s always welcome if he changes his mind.”

“He turned down Mr. Keller’s request? But, why?” Emma knew that Gavin had a soft spot for the old teacher.

“Mr. Keller asked him to present a short speech about future goals and working towards turning dreams into reality, but he couldn’t commit because of work. Though, if you ask me, I’m not sure that Gavin liked the idea of public speaking.”

Emma sighed. “Too bad.”

“Mr. Keller mentioned asking you to substitute, but the school principal volunteered a former class president to fill the spot instead.”

“Just as well.” Emma made an unpleasant face.

“Public speaking is a daunting task,” Anna commented, sipping her cocktail.

“What was Officer Gavin like in high school?” Kiki wondered. “And, you and Minor were in the same grade right, Emma?”

“Huh? Well–” Emma began.

“The Boss here was your typical straight-A student,” Minor answered for her with a wide smile on his face. “I was lucky enough to sit next to her in class – she let me copy her homework.”

“Why do you look so happy about having to copy someone else’s homework?” Willow teased him.

“I didn’t do it all the time!” Minor attempted to defend himself. “Only…most of the time.”

Everyone laughed, though Emma recalled that Minor did well in exams at school, which meant he was just too lazy to do his own homework, not that he lacked intelligence.

“What about Gavin?” Kiki repeated. “You still haven’t told us about him.”

“Gavin…is a legend,” Minor began, his eyes glazing.

“Now you’ve got him started,” Emma giggled, amused and mildly alarmed by Minor’s continued hero-worship of their high school senpai.

“A legend, huh? Go on…” Willow encouraged.

Emma listened as Minor recounted tales of Gavin’s fearsome exploits in his youth, including how Minor had been saved from bullies even though he was a stranger to Gavin at the time. She’d heard all of this several times since Minor had come to work for her company as he was all too happy to reminisce about their school days at the merest mention of Gavin’s name. At the beginning hearing Minor’s enthusiastic praise and heroic descriptions of Gavin, which were so at odds with her own recollections of the school’s most notorious bad-boy, that she’d almost been convinced Minor had been describing a totally different person. _But, that was then._ Now, she was quite envious that Minor had discovered the true beauty of Gavin’s soul before her.

“…Then, there was the time Gavin was attacked by this gang,” Minor continued his story, “he was outnumbered ten-to-one, I later learned, and all of them took turns at stabbing him–”

“They _what_?” Kiki exclaimed. “He was stabbed?”

“Oh, yeah.” Minor nodded vigorously. “Gavin’s got stab wounds all over his body to prove it.”

“How did he survive this attack?” Anna wondered, aghast.

Minor frowned. “Actually, I don’t know how…he’s never been willing to talk about it, not with me anyhow.”

Almost simultaneously all of her colleagues turned to look at Emma.

“What?” she gazed back at them. “You all think I would have the answer?”

“If anyone would it’s you, Boss.” Minor gave her a look that suggested he knew far more than he was letting on.

Emma had seen the scars crisscrossing Gavin’s torso with her own eyes, touched them with her fingertips, too. Of course, she’d wondered about the circumstances in which he’d received them and the pain he’d suffered, but Gavin had brushed off her concerns.

“It’s all history,” he’d told her, not missing the look of pity in her eyes. “It’s not something you need to worry about now.”

Emma wanted to believe that she was someone Gavin could completely open up to and be honest with, like Minor was thinking. But no matter how much she might wish that were the case, Gavin had to want the same.

“Well, there must be a reason Gavin doesn’t want to talk about it, so I think we should let him keep his privacy,” she eventually said, effectively putting an end to the topic.

They all called it a night shortly before midnight and Minor ensured that each of them were safely inside a taxi bound for each of their homes, making them promise to text him once they arrived. He left Emma with a parting plea to encourage Gavin to attend the Foundation Day Festival, but she made no promises, uncertain about the influence she had over Gavin, if any.

At her apartment and in her own bed at last, Emma stared at her phone, half hoping that the screen would light up with Gavin’s name on the display. He always told her not to worry about him, but that was an impossible ask given his line of work. More often than not he was sporting some new scrape or bruise, rarely offering an explanation either, despite her concerned enquiries. She wondered about the mission he was on that moment, what dangers he was currently facing, hoping that his strong instincts and combat skills would continue to be enough to protect him from all threats.

Gavin was the toughest and physically strongest man she knew, yet there was vulnerability within him that she’d unexpectedly come to discover in the time since they’d met as adults, and it was this fragility that drew her to him. Like the element he controlled, Gavin had a side to him that was wild, unpredictable and dangerous like a howling gale. Yet he also possessed a reassuring presence about him, comforting and soothing as the gentlest summer breeze. The former excited her beyond what she ever believed she was capable of, and in ways she’d never thought possible. But, it was the latter that had made her fall for him…and hard. She would never have gone to bed with him if she didn’t feel so strongly about him.

Turning off her bedside lamp, Emma rolled over and pulled the covers up higher around her shoulders. _Do I really need our relationship spelled out for me? Do I need to hear it…does Gavin verbally have to call me his girlfriend? Will that make me feel less insecure?_ It had been three months since she and Gavin began sleeping together. She had even stayed at his apartment whenever his busy and unpredictable schedule allowed them the opportunity. Beyond the physical aspects of their relationship, it had seemed to her they were getting closer emotionally, too. Yet there was an uncomfortable ache somewhere deep in her heart that she could not ignore. There was a part of Gavin that remained out of her reach. It was difficult to say whether he was purposely keeping his distance, but sooner or later, Emma knew that they were going to have to address it. Their future depended on it.

~ _Three Months Earlier_ ~

Friday nights in Loveland City’s busy CBD was typically crowded and bustling with office workers exiting out of offices, students finishing evening classes, weekend revelers making their way into the CBD to get a head start on their merrymaking, while restaurants and bars became livelier with those same crowds seeking to relax and unwind after another long week. Emma’s week had been fraught with the usual demands expected from a television production company, but this week in particular had been more trying than most because she was rapidly growing worried about Gavin who’d been away on a Special Task Force mission for nearly three weeks, during which he’d been completely incommunicado. He’d told her before he’d left that he would be away for some weeks, but he couldn’t tell her when he’d be back because he did not know how long the mission would take to complete. It was the _not knowing_ that was getting to her.

Pulling overtime and completing her least favorite tasks had helped to keep her mind away from her worries temporarily, but she was not a robot and eventually she’d called it quits and left the office. Rushing to catch the train, she didn’t even glance at the name on the screen of her phone when it buzzed in her coat pocket, answering the incoming call in her usual business-like tone.

“Good evening, Emma speaking.”

“I’m back,” came the response to her polite greeting.

Emma stopped in her tracks in the middle of the busy walkway, her heart having skipped at the sound of his voice. “…Gavin.”

“Hey, Emma.” Gavin sounded tired, but somehow, she could tell he was smiling into the phone. “It’s been a while…how are you?”

“Oh, my God! Gavin! You’re back! _You’re_ _safe_!” Emma squealed. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home,” he replied, “just walked through the door actually.”

“That’s good.” Emma smiled too. “Have you eaten?”

“Not yet, I just wanted to call you first, and…find out when I can see you.”

“Tonight,” she said eagerly, too eagerly she realized, but there was no helping it. “I can come over, if you’d like?”

“Uh…it’s getting late, Emma. Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m just fine,” she replied, her earlier fatigue forgotten. “I’m actually still out – I’ve just left the office. I’ll pick up some food and head over to your place. I can be there in thirty minutes.”

“Hmm…”

“You can personally see me to the station to catch the last train tonight, okay?” she proposed. _I just need to see you._

“All right,” Gavin eventually agreed, “come over.”

“Great!” Emma grinned. “Is there anything in particular that you want to eat?”

“Spicy fried chicken,” he replied immediately, “and beer.”

Gavin answered the door dressed in a pair of dark sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt with a towel draped over his shoulder. His chestnut hair which he’d roughly pushed back from his face was still damp from his recent shower…in her eyes he had never looked sexier. The chicken and beer in her hands thudded to the floor, and then she was throwing her arms around his neck, catching him off-guard with her enthusiasm, overwhelmed by the desire to stay in his arms. Caught in her mood, Gavin returned the pressure of her embrace, burying his nose into the crook of her shoulder.

“I’m so happy you’re back,” she mumbled into his shoulder, “I’m so happy that you’re home.” _And, here with me._

“Looks like you missed me,” Gavin murmured, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin along her neck.

Emma shivered at the sensation of his warm lips on her skin, the sensuous contact causing a rush of heat from that one spot on her neck to flow through the rest of her body. She gasped before she could stop herself, and Gavin pulled back a fraction to look down at her face, his eyes darting over her features as though he was searching for something.

“I really missed you,” she confessed, her voice shaky, catching in her throat.

Emma never found out what he was searching for in her expression, because he was lowering his face and pressing his forehead against hers.

“I believe you.”

His hand curved behind her head, then he was kissing her, tilting her face to deepen it and moaning against her mouth when she boldly darted her tongue to meet his. Neither of them would remember the exact moment they grasped the inevitable, only understanding that they had crashed headlong through some unspoken wall and that there was no turning back.

“Let me stay here tonight, Gavin,” she said to him, her words heavy with a deeper meaning.

In response, he took her into his arms and led her through his apartment, pausing every few steps to kiss her and remove an article of clothing from her body. Her coat dropped to the floor as her shoes were hurriedly kicked off by the doorway. Her blouse fell at the foot of the couch, while her skirt and camisole were discarded in the hallway near the kitchen. By the time they reached his bedroom there was a trail of clothes throughout his house. Both of them experienced momentary, fleeting thoughts that things had escalated far too quickly and that they were moving too fast. However, fleeting thoughts rarely stood a chance against burning desire and such distractions were quickly pushed aside. Potential repercussions were relegated to considerations for another day, replaced entirely by immediate needs and wants.

Emma stood at the edge of Gavin’s bed gazing up at his shadowed face in anticipation, faintly acknowledging that it was the first time she had ever set foot in his room. Starlight glimmered in the room confounding her for a second, before she realized that the twinkling lights were the result of the floor lamp that stood in the corner of the room.

“This lamp…” she murmured as Gavin reached for her waist.

“Yeah…it’s from that time.” Gavin’s palm glided up her back to the clasp on her bra.

Memories from that long-ago day at the furniture store came flooding back to her as the clasp between her shoulder blades came undone, causing something warm and tingly to flutter in her stomach. That date had marked the beginning of their relationship, though at the time she’d been unaware just how important he was going to become to her. The star lamp in his bedroom now stood as proof that Gavin shared her sentiment. He had been the first one to make a move, after all.

_“I wanna stay with you…just like this…”_

Emma’s bra slipped from her arms to the floor and she heard a ragged breath escape Gavin’s lips as he took in the sight of her naked breasts. She was small all over, but perfectly proportioned with curves in the right places, unblemished skin and a body that could not hide her responses to him.

“Oh, Emma…” he muttered, a second before he was grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it over his head. “I _need_ to touch you.”

She’d barely had a chance to take in the wide expanse of his bare, muscular chest or the scars that marked his torso in a patchwork of discolored skin, before he was pushing her back onto his bed, leaning over so that he could rain kisses across her shoulders…and take each of her perfect little breasts into his mouth, one at a time, suckling and nibbling on her beige-tipped nipples gently, experimentally…tortuously.

“How does it feel, Emma?” Gavin whispered against the skin between her breasts. “Tell me how you like it…show me…I want to make you feel good…”

“Gavin, I’ve never… _everything_ you do feels good…I don’t know what else…how else…”

“I know,” he rasped, catching her earlobe between his teeth. “That’s why you need to tell me…let me _hear_ you…don’t hold back, okay?”

Emma smiled even as she let out a moan. Even at the height of intimacy, Gavin was still incredibly straightforward.

“ _Ungh!”_ she gasped when his thumb rolled over her sensitized nipple. “Okay, Gavin…I won’t… _just like that!_ ”

“That’s my girl…” Gavin chuckled, causing his chest to rumble under her palm. “There’s no shame in being honest about what turns you on.”

“You, too.” Emma reached up and brushed his chestnut brown bangs from his eyes. “Teach me what you like, Gavin.”

Something in his eyes blazed at her words and the smile on his lips took a slightly predatory turn. “Don’t you worry about that…there’s not a thing you could do that I wouldn’t like!”

He bent his head down to hers and she opened herself up to his kiss. Gavin had kissed her many times since that fateful surprise blind date that Emma had been roped into. Sweet kisses, hungry kisses, and kisses so achingly tender she could have wept. Yet they’d always been tinged with a hesitance she could not understand, and at times she was almost convinced she was just being overly sensitive. Part of her had been expecting to sense a trace of it that night, but she never did. All she felt from him was a certainty that what they were doing was right… that they were perfect together.

And, together they learned. With the azure-hued light and sparkling stars projecting from the lamp casting an ethereal glow about the room, each undressed the other entirely, pushing the covers from the bed so that nothing could get in the way of their hands roaming over soft skin and toned muscle, or from feeling the heat of bare skin against bare skin. Emma loved running her palms over his back, astounded that a man could be so hard yet soft at the same time. Gavin’s skin was smoother than she’d imagined, even the raised areas of discolored tissue around his numerous scars had not been rough like she’d expected. Beneath his skin she traced the taught muscles of his shoulders all the way down to the small of his back, reveling in the knowledge that she was the one making him shudder and moan.

Her hand moved over his narrow hips, toward the coarser patch of hair at his groin and boldly reaching for his cock, finding him swollen and erect. He was hard here too, and as big as she imagined for a man as tall as he was, yet it was the velvety softness of his skin and his warmth that made her look down, unable to fight her curiosity. She inhaled at the sight of her fingers grasping him, fascinated by how he twitched and pulsed in her hand. She’d heard that sex was all about _feeling_ , that her body would respond in the ways nature intended and that she would just _know_ what to do. Following this edict, she stroked him gently and tentatively, uncertain of her technique yet confident that Gavin would find pleasure at her touch.

“ _Ohh…Em…”_ Gavin groaned, his fingers tightening reflexively at her waist. “Grip it harder…like that, and longer strokes… _uhh!_ ”

She watched as his eyes fluttered shut, a furrow forming between his brows as he submitted to the movement of her hand and heat of her palm caressing him. With her other hand she ran her fingertips over his glans, awed by the texture of him. Gavin gasped when her finger twirled at the underside of his glans, so she did this numerous times, buoyed at the sight of pleasure on his features. After a few minutes of this kind of focused attention, Gavin’s breathing hitched and sweat began to bead at his brow. Gavin gently removed her hand when he noticed, nowhere near having his fill, and determined to see Emma reach her pleasure before anything else.

When Gavin’s hand curved over her thigh her first instinct was to part her legs for him, her hands fluttering about his biceps as heat pooled between her thighs, anticipating what was to come. Gavin trailed his fingers through the barely-there thatch of curls at her mound, before dipping into the slick valley between her netherlips.

“ _Ahh…unh!”_ Emma whimpered at the unfamiliar rush of pleasure he was eliciting from her body, so different and infinitely stronger than anything she’d ever achieved with her hands alone.

“Good?” he whispered into her ear, finding the sensitive bud between her folds, pinching it between his middle and index fingers and watching her eyelids flutter at the _friction_.

“Yes… _oh, yes!_ ”

“I’m going to slide a finger inside you,” he warned her, “just breathe.”

He ran the tip of his index finger over her, gathering her slick before he gently pushed his fingertip past her tightly closed entrance, encountering resistance as he came upon the proof of her virginity. He moved his finger back and forth carefully, teasing her, listening to every sound she made and watching her every reaction.

“Are you all right?” he asked when her breath hitched.

Emma’s eyes opened a fraction as she gave him a shaky smile. “I’m fine…it feels good, Gavin.”

“I’ll use two fingers now, okay?”

Emma nodded. “Okay.”

A second digit slowly joined the first, stretching her slightly wider. She inhaled sharply at yet another new sensation, moaning audibly as Gavin resumed the back and forth motion with his hand. Gavin’s eyes darkened at seeing the flush he’d caused to bloom on Emma’s cheeks, before a determined expression crossed his features. The last thing he wanted was to cause her any pain, and knowing he was about to be her first made him far more nervous than he might otherwise been…yet, he was excited and more aroused than he’d ever been in his life. Emma was in his bed… _Emma,_ the only girl to have ever laid claim to his heart was now in his arms, waiting for him to make love to her.

Emma’s breaths had turned shallow, while the pulse he could see beating at her neck had sped up. He could no longer put off the inevitable, just as he could no longer hold himself back. Removing his fingers from her sex, Gavin eased her legs further apart as he held himself between her thighs.

“Look at me, Emma.”

She opened her eyes and tilted her head to look at him as he asked. He saw his own nervousness, excitement and desire mirrored in her face, while in her eyes he saw nothing but absolute trust. Gavin rubbed the head of his cock against her opening several times, ensuring that he was well and truly coated in her slick before he entered her body slowly…deliberately…and possessively, not pausing until he was completely inside her.

“Gavin!” Emma cried as she registered his body’s intrusion within her, clutching at his shoulders, shaking as she grew accustomed to the feeling of being stretched around him.

“ _Oh, gods…Emma!_ ”

Her name on his lips was almost an anguished hiss, torn from deep in his throat. He had known that she would be tight, but it was also his first time bearing such a responsibility…and he was unprepared for how overwhelmed he would feel to be engulfed by her. It was almost too much, requiring every ounce of willpower he had in his body not to lose control.

“ _Gavin_ …” Emma’s whimper this time sounded pained, her fingers digging into his skin.

“It’s done… _shh_ …the worst is over…just hold onto me… _shh_ …it’s all right…” he cooed into her ear, steeling himself against her pain. “Let me know if you want me to stop–”

“No! Don’t stop…please don’t stop!” Emma pleaded with him, her legs locking behind him. “Don’t you dare move away.”

Seeing the stubborn sheen in her eyes, Gavin almost smiled when he saw the humor in their predicament, but the desire that was also reflected there ensured that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Then, I won’t.”

“I want to do this with you,” Emma panted, “I really do.”

Gavin waited patiently, giving her as long as she needed to recompose herself while he placed soft kisses on her brows and the tip of her nose. Emma smiled at him at length.

“You’re okay, now?”

“I am.” She nodded. “Keep going.”

“All right…let’s go slowly…”

He pulled back cautiously, pausing before he completely withdrew, his golden eyes watching her intently as he thrust back into her. Emma exhaled raggedly, yet her lips still curved in a smile. Gavin drew back again and proceeded to repeatedly drive his hips against her. He continued to utter soothing words and sounds above her head all the while, doing all he could to lessen her discomfort. Emma felt such reverence in his every touch and caress, making the fire inside her burn all the fiercer for him. Gradually the pain disappeared entirely, replaced by waves upon waves of sensual awareness that had her writhing, and begging for more. Gavin fought hard to control his movements, afraid to hurt the woman in his arms, yet her heat and scent surrounding him were working in tandem to undo him. It was all he could do to keep his strength in check as he buried himself inside her again and again, and knowing that it was Emma he was making love to made him acutely aware of every nuance in her reactions.

“You feel so good inside me, Gavin… _ahh!_ ” Emma cried huskily, desperately clinging to his shoulders as his hips ground against her, driving himself deep into her. “Tell me what to do…I want to make you feel good, too…”

Gavin let out another hiss at hearing her words, his hips snapping forward with more force as a result. She had no idea how crazy she was driving him!

“You are… _believe_ me, you are!” Gavin growled. “It’s so good…it feels _incredible_ inside you!”

The combined attack on his heart, mind and body was intense, and knowing that he wasn’t going to last much longer he rose to his knees as he neared his limit, digging his toes into the mattress to keep his balance. Pulling her hips closer and changing the angle of his entry, he was confronted with the sight of their bodies joined together. Gavin was filled with a perverse kind of thrill at seeing her inner lips retracting whenever he pulled back, only to vanish inside her every time he pushed back into her. The explicit view made him groan audibly, before he reached between them to find her clit, pleased when Emma arched her back in response. It did not take long before his fingers playing with her sensitive bud and the continued rhythmic thrusts of his hips eventually sent her spinning out of control.

“Gavin… _ahh!_ ” Emma cried, seeing bright lights behind her eyes as her body writhed beneath him, realizing that it was the first time she was experiencing pleasure at the hands of someone else. “Oh, Gavin!”

Hearing his name on her lips with her voice thick with pleasure sent him to the very edge of his own release and he pulled out to take his cock in his fist. After several desperate strokes Gavin saw himself spilling onto her trembling belly, grunting with the force of his orgasm. He pressed a hand to the bed beside Emma’s hip, catching himself before he collapsed on top of her. Emma was glancing up at him from where she lay on his bed, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed and lips swollen, her bare breasts rising and falling as she caught her breath, and her nipples still pebbled…still begging for him to take into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful, Emma.”

Leaning over her Gavin pressed his mouth to hers, drawing her into another kiss, one that he hoped would convey everything that he wanted yet couldn’t say to her. He was far from the poetic, eloquent type, and he was working on this shortcoming, but in the meantime, he would do what he could. He had always been more physical, relying on actions rather than words, and through his kiss he wanted to tell her that he treasured her above all and everything, that he felt incredibly blessed that she had chosen to be with him, and that he wanted to do everything he could to make her happy.

Emma’s breathing was far from even by the time he broke the kiss, clearly very deeply affected, but there was no way for him to tell whether she understood what he’d tried to convey. Regardless, she was smiling sweetly at him, and that was enough.

“Here, let me help you.” Gavin grabbed the towel he’d earlier discarded and cleaned up the worst of the aftermath from her skin, before he helped her to a sitting position. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too much.”

There was a small smudge of red on the towel, proof of her lost virginity.

Emma shook her head. “I’m just fine, as you can see. You…um…you were fantastic.”

“Oh, was I? I’m glad…” Gavin’s cheeks had turned pink before he knew it.

“I mean, it was my first time so I don’t have a basis for comparison…but, I’d heard some truly _awful_ stories, and that…what we just did was _so much more_ than I could have imagined… _it was perfect._ ”

Gavin chuckled at Emma’s rambling. This reaction of hers was so exactly like _her_ that he couldn’t help but smile. She was adorable without even trying. He reached up and smoothed a ruffled strand of hair from the side of her face.

“Um…listen, Emma. I don’t really know how else to say it or if there’s a proper time to have this conversation, but uh…I’m sure I pulled out in time, but if in the slightest chance something happens, I want you to know I’ll support you.”

“Oh… _oh._ ”

Belatedly, she realized that the thought of protection had not even entered her head, far too caught up by her hormones and libido as she had been, grasping her failure as an adult and her abysmal lack of self-preservation. She used an App to keep track of her cycle because it meant one less thing to have to remember. Scrambling to recall when she had last checked her calendar, she heaved a short, relieved sigh when she figured that she should be okay.

“You don’t have condoms?” she blurted, thinking that an experienced and healthy, adult man such as he would have a few somewhere in his apartment.

“No reason to have them,” he replied with a shrug. “It’s been a long time since there’s been anyone.”

“I see.” Somewhere in her heart she’d known that, too. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

He smiled at her, amused more than anything by how she could possibly see him as some kind of lothario. Her perception of him had changed so, so much since they were in high school.

“Come on, you can use the bathroom first.”

“I won’t take long,” Emma said, getting up from the bed and searching for the items of clothing she’d hastily removed.

“Take your time.” Gavin pulled his underwear on before grabbing another shirt from his closet and the nearest pair of jeans. “There’s clean shirts in that drawer, and there should be brand new pajamas, too. Minor got me a pair last Christmas but I’ve never worn them.”

“Thanks…where are you going?” Emma wondered when she saw him grabbing a jacket.

“To the convenience store around the corner,” he replied, “you’ll need a toothbrush since you’re staying the night, and I’ll pick up some…other things, while I’m there.”

It wasn’t until she was rinsing body wash from her skin when she understood what Gavin was referring to by ‘some other things’. She bit her lip, realizing that she had become the reason Gavin was buying condoms at that very moment. Easing her fingers between her legs to gently cleanse her pleasantly aching and swollen flesh, Emma could not help but recall how Gavin’s large, muscular hand had curved around her inner thigh as he’d parted her legs, how he’d been quietly demanding while being ever so attentive at the same time.

From the moment Gavin had first embraced her and she’d felt that unmistakable tremor of sexual desire she had been curios to find out how much stronger, how much more intense those tendrils of desire could be if she were to surrender herself to Gavin entirely. She knew now that she had been completely unprepared. Now that she knew how it felt to have his weight pressing her to the bed, and how the muscles across his back would bunch under her touch, or how beautiful his profile was from the angle she saw as she lay beneath him, she understood that there was so much more to discover…and, _how_ she wanted so badly to continue exploring the wonderland of Gavin’s body.

Emma eventually emerged from Gavin’s bedroom dressed in one of his sweatshirts and the bottoms from the pajama he’d mentioned, with the legs rolled up several times to accommodate her lack of height. She found the forgotten fried chicken on the kitchen table, and that Gavin had put the beer in the chiller in the fridge before he’d stepped out. Suddenly hungry, she found a heatproof dish and reheated the chicken in the oven, knowing Gavin would be even more ravenous given the energy he’d just exerted. He returned from the convenience store just as she was taking the chicken out of the oven.

“Fantastic!” he exclaimed as he dropped the carry-bags he was holding onto the kitchen counter. “I’m ravenous!”

Grinning from his uncanny choice of adjective, Emma took out a can of beer from the chiller as well as the bottle of iced oolong tea she spied in the fridge door. From the corner of her eye she saw a package of brand-new toothbrushes poking out from the mouth of one of the carry-bags, along with a can of shaving foam, toothpaste and a distinct box of condoms boasting 0.01mm thinness on the cover. The other bag held a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs, bacon, sugar, and a canister of black tea. She grinned wider, because Gavin clearly expected her to stay for breakfast, too.

“For you,” she said, placing the beer in front of him.

“Thanks.” Gavin popped the tab and took a long swig, settling into his seat happily.

As they ate, Emma couldn’t help but think of how ordinary a scene they made. Looking at them, one would never guess that they’d both experienced a once-in-a-lifetime event only a short while before. Outwardly, neither of them had changed, but she knew that she had, and profoundly so, although she couldn’t explain why she felt that way. She just knew that she would never be same. She’d never really held the usual romantic notions most girls seemed to have about the loss of their virginity, like being in a fancy hotel on a bed of rose petals, for example. She’d been too busy focusing on her studies when other girls her age were dating and beginning to discover themselves. If she gave a thought to her virginity, she only ever imagined that her first time would be with someone who truly cared about her. She never intended to hold onto it as she had, but she had never met any man who could hold her interest or garner her affection enough to want to sleep with him. Knowing her personality, and how she was often blind to the advances of men, it definitely took an exceptional kind of man to make an impact on her, and very few ever did.

Gavin was _the_ exception among the exceptional. She had met him at a stage in her life where she’d been particularly impressionable, and while the impact he’d made was perhaps not what he had intended at the time, he’d made certain that he was unforgettable. Her teenage self could never have envisioned she would one day be sitting at Gavin’s dining table, wearing his clothes, smelling like his soap and nursing an ache between her legs that he had caused while she contemplated the indelible ways in which he’d marked her mind and body. Gavin was the first boy who had ever made her tremble with just a glance…and, he remained the only man who could.

“Care to tell me what’s on your mind?” Gavin’s voice broke into her thoughts. “You have this…unusual expression on your face.”

Emma raised her head and found him watching her, a slight furrow between his brows, his golden amber eyes fixed on her face. Her skin tingled as though he had physically touched her, and her smile broadened.

“Unusual, huh?” Emma gave him a glance before answering him. “I’m just thinking about the existence of fate and destiny…that no matter what choices we make, the ending will always turn out the same.”

“That’s a fairly deep subject to be thinking about over fried chicken,”

“I was thinking about you and me,” she clarified, meeting his stare, wondering if he would understand.

Gavin picked up his can of beer and finished its contents before he gave her another thoughtful glance. “I can’t say I’ve thought much about things like fate and destiny…but I am curious about what conclusions you’ve reached about you and me.”

Emma looked away, suddenly unable to withstand the heat of his gaze, suddenly shy and hesitant to reveal her thoughts. Since she had reconnected with Gavin she had learned that she had unknowingly hurt him in the past, and while Gavin said he’d forgiven her, she still harbored a degree of guilt, which made her feel unworthy to say what was on her mind. But, he was still gazing at her expectantly, and she soldiered on.

“I was thinking that, despite the misunderstandings that happened between us in the past, and regardless of the years that have passed since then…in the end, I believe that you and I were always...”

“Always…what?” Gavin prompted, his voice turning rough.

Emma reached her hand out across the dining table and covered his knuckles with her palm. Gavin turned his hand and promptly twined his fingers with hers, giving her the courage to finish her sentence.

“That you and I were always meant to be together.”

She was blushing furiously by the time she’d uttered the last word, but she was looking into his eyes again, and she saw that they were wide and bright. He sat up straight in his chair, and with a tug of her hand that was still clutched in his she was pulled forward out of her chair and into his lap.

“I don’t know if the reason you’re in my arms right now is due to the workings of fate, but you _are_ here…and that’s all I really care about.”

Gavin lowered his head and placed a series of soft kisses over her face and lips, his arms tightening about her waist and drawing her closer into his chest with each one. Emma sighed deeply as she lay her head on his shoulder, realizing that he spoke the truth.

“You’re right,” she murmured. _We’re together now, that’s all that matters._

Later as they prepared for bed, Emma couldn’t help but watch as Gavin rinsed off in the shower, completely fascinated at the way his biceps and triceps contracted and relaxed as he performed such a mundane task. Brushing her teeth at the bathroom basin, she watched as water ran over his broad back and shoulders, over his beautifully formed chest and his six-pack abs, over his pert buttocks and down his strong flank. She nearly missed the basin entirely when she attempted to rinse her mouth, too distracted by her careful study of the only man she had ever seen entirely unclothed.

It was a wonder she even managed to lay still in his arms long enough to feel drowsy, yet she must have dozed off because she was awoken by the sensation of his palms skimming her hips and pushing the hem of her oversized shirt up over her breasts. By the time he’d removed her borrowed pajama bottoms and taken her nipple between his teeth she was wide awake. By the time the sun rose over the roofs of the building around them some hours later, an utterly spent Gavin finally lay beside Emma, having made love to her until there was no part of her body that he had not committed to memory by touch, taste and sight.


	2. Old Doubts & New Fears

It was past two in the morning by the time Gavin made it back to his apartment. His mission with the Special Task Force had not been physically demanding this time, but the mental strain had been exhausting. He wanted nothing more than to get some sleep, but first he needed to know that Emma was safely at home. Shrugging off his jacket, he roughly threw it onto the couch on his way to the balcony on the other side of his living room. Stepping outside, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the night air and darkness enveloped him. The air swirled around him and invisible currents rippled outward from where he stood, travelling swiftly over rooftops, between buildings and sweeping over obstacles in its way, surging upward along the façade of a particular apartment building, finally making its way into her apartment as a slight breeze blowing in through the kitchen window she had left slightly ajar. Two seconds later Gavin sensed Emma’s sleeping form inside her bedroom, and the breeze settled atop her gently, causing a tendril of her hair to flutter about her face.

Reassured, Gavin’s mouth tilted into a smile for a brief moment before he stepped back inside his apartment. Of course, the tracking device on the bracelet she wore had shown her location to be at home, and Minor’s earlier text had confirmed as much, but he’d still felt the need to sense it for himself. His actions could be seen as over-cautious, but where Emma was concerned, Gavin did not believe that his concern was unwarranted. He’d been right by her side on two separate occasions as a sniper had tried to take her life. Things were calm at the moment, but there was no telling how long that calm would last.

Gavin undressed and threw his soiled uniform into the hamper in the laundry, before stepping into the bathroom. His eyes fell on the pink toothbrush that sat in the cup at the basin next to his own blue one. There were other little traces of Emma in his house; the hair-tie she’d left behind on his bedside table, the canister of the tea she favored in his kitchen cupboard, the jam she liked to have on her breakfast toast in his fridge, and the pajamas that had become _hers_ folded neatly in his wardrobe. Small, yet undeniable evidence that Emma had become a part of his life in a way he had never believed was possible just a few months ago.

Stepping into the hot shower, he felt some of his weariness being washed away with the water cascading over his skin, easing the tension in his muscles. With his thoughts already focused on Emma, invariable they turned steamy and he took himself in his hand, lightly stroking his length as he thought of her smiling face the last time she had stayed over for the night. He’d brought her into the shower with him and he’d watched as her smile had morphed into expressions of momentary shyness mixed with anticipation. He remembered the sound of her gasp as he’d turned her around, placing her palms against the shower wall, recalling her gentle whimpers as he’d lined himself up against the quivering curves of her bottom, bending her at the waist at just the right angle moments before he’d pushed himself into her willing body.

Gripping his hardened cock in his hand more firmly he stroked himself faster, seeking only a singular release, remembering all the sounds she had made as he’d taken her right where he now stood, the feel of her hot, tight and wet around him, and of how she had shaken like a leaf caught in the wind as her body had succumbed to the sensation of him deep inside her. With his eyes tightly shut, Gavin exhaled raggedly as he came, his semen hitting the tiles at his feet moments before they were washed away. He finished showering as he caught his breath, and by the time he was dried and dressed his heart rate and countenance were back to normal.

He checked his phone for messages one last time as he lay in bed, revisiting Minor’s message thread to stare at the group photo his friend had sent earlier in the night. Emma was in the middle of the group-shot, smiling cheerily as her colleagues squeezed into the frame around her. Gavin was running the tip of his finger against the screen before he knew it, tracing the curve of her cheek. She made it easy to picture a life with her. She made it easy to imagine that having the kind of simple love he had dreamed about since he’d been a teenage boy with a crush, was all within his grasp. It was precisely because it all seemed so easy that alarm bells were going off inside his head. Nothing in his life had ever come easy, so when something appeared too good to be true his natural instinct was to be wary, especially when it concerned his emotions…his heart, to be exact.

Shortly before his relationship with Emma had turned serious, a salesman had once asked him if Emma was his girlfriend.

_“No. But she will be.”_

His response had been so confident at the time, carried away by his excitement, overjoyed that Emma had spent Valentine’s Day with him. He had been so sure that she would be his someday…and, that day had finally presented itself. All he had to do was say those three words out aloud to confirm what he and Emma both knew with their mind and body…but something was holding him back. Unexpectedly and frustratingly, the shadow he thought he’d banished to his past was looming over him once again.

 _Doubt_ had been his one constant companion as a young boy, standing at his shoulder whenever he would wait for his father to come home, replacing the childish hopefulness he’d once had. He had clung to his mother’s belief that dad was sure to come home soon and take him on that airplane ride, but during the few times that his father would show up all his presence did was to strengthen _doubt’s_ influence over Gavin. His father never spared him any warmth, making Gavin wonder what he’d done wrong and what he was lacking. He was still in elementary school when he had come to understand that his father had no need for a son like Gavin…but, by this time doubt had taken a firm grip on him, digging its awful claws into his back, eventually going on to affect his behavior, his schoolwork and his ability to confidently participate in social situations. If his own father had not wanted him, why would anyone else? His father had cast him aside in favor of his worthier younger brother. In his father’s eyes, Gavin was nothing.

Yet, Gavin was made of stronger stuff, more than tissue and bone. He knew that he was not _nothing_ , despite what the other kids at school or those hypocritical teachers said. He’d set out to prove to all of them that they were wrong about him, and prove to himself that he was _worthy_. His determination had led him to where he was now, an Evol Agent, and a respected one at that, though publicly everyone else identified him as a Captain with the Loveland City Police Force. However, even with all he had achieved, he found himself questioning whether he was worthy of being by Emma’s side. Doubt had reared its ugly head when he had least expected it.

Sleep eventually claimed him, but not for long. He woke up early out of habit and headed to the gym on Morrow Way for a solid hour-long workout. He’d always been active, always needed to keep himself moving. Exercise was about keeping his sanity as it was about keeping fit. About taking control of the things he could control. By eight a.m. he was back at home and showered, sitting in front of the T.V to watch the morning news. At exactly nine, he dialed Emma.

“G’morning…” she greeted him after picking up on the fourth right, her voice thick from sleep.

“Good morning,” he echoed. “I woke you up, huh?”

“ _Noooo_ …” she said while yawning, “I was already half-awake. I had a feeling you were about to call.”

Gavin found himself smiling into the phone. “Are you hungover, by any chance? Should I call you back later?”

“I’m fine!” Emma hastily assured him. “I’m not hungover…but, I sure could use a coffee.”

“In that case, be ready in thirty minutes,” he instructed her, “let’s go for a late breakfast.”

“Oh, brunch!” she whooped excitedly. “I love brunch!”

Pulling up outside her apartment block twenty-five minutes later, Gavin secured his motorbike before letting himself into her building with the passcode she’d given him and taking the elevator to her floor. He spared a fleeting look towards the apartment door across from Emma’s, then pointedly glanced away. Emma opened the door seconds after he’d rung the bell, looking cheerful as always.

“Hey, Emma,” he greeted her warmly.

“You’re right on time,” she smiled at him. “I’m ready to go.”

Gavin’s eyes wandered down her body, looking his fill as well as inspecting her choice of attire. As usual she looked gorgeous, dressed in denim shorts, a pink sweater and ankle boots at her feet. He was also pleased that she’d chosen an outfit she’d be comfortable wearing on the back of a motorbike.

“Let’s get going.” He took her hand and began to lead her down the hall, sparing another glance at the silent apartment they passed on the way to the elevator.

He knew who lived across the hall from Emma, and also knew exactly why it bothered him. There were far too many men around her, circumstantially or otherwise. Contrary to what most people would think, his concern was not that Emma would be swayed by other men. What bothered him was the thought –the fear that somehow, he would let her down and disappoint her. Emma was surrounded by brilliant, glamorous peacocks, all with more to offer than he ever could. He was not wealthy like the billionaire peacock who funded her production company, nor was he effervescent and charming like that pop-idol peacock. And, while he was no dunce, he was not even in the same league as the genius-scientist peacock who lived in the apartment next door. _Too many damned peacocks,_ he thought darkly. _So, what am I? A pigeon?_ Not that he had anything against pigeons but they were, undeniably common.

When they were out on the street Gavin secured the straps on Emma’s helmet under her chin, reminding her to hold onto his waist tightly as he revved Sparky’s engine before skillfully merging into traffic. Emma’s arms squeezing his middle offered him comfort from his self-destructive thoughts, and by the time they were seated at a trendy café of her choosing he was feeling less agitated, but his doubts were far from assuaged.

“Are you hungry?” she asked as they perused the menu.

“I could eat,” he replied, “I haven’t had breakfast yet either.”

He was starving, his appetite piqued by his earlier workout, yet he could not differentiate between the savory breakfast options on offer, given the seemingly endless choices of protein and carbohydrates. He did not mind following Emma to fancy restaurants and cafes because the food was always good at the places she chose, but he couldn’t understand why the menus always seemed so unnecessarily complex at some of them.

“Would you like me to order for you?” she offered, seeing his perplexed expression.

“Please,” he nodded.

She ordered him a couple of harissa sausages with a side of crispy hash browns, eggs sunny-side up and thickly sliced sourdough toast, accompanied by a tangy-sweet onion relish. Emma observed him as he took a bite of the spicy sausage, smiling when she saw his eyes light up.

“How is it?” she asked, cutting into a corner of her own golden waffles generously dressed with ice cream, chopped strawberries, whipped cream and maple syrup for good measure.

“This is really good!” Gavin declared, enthusiastically digging in.

Emma’s smile broadened. “I just knew you’d like it.”

Gavin felt a tightening inside his chest, quickly followed by a warmth that spread all the way to his toes. They were simple words about something as simple as breakfast, but the significance behind them was not lost on him. Somehow, Emma had made it a point to learn about the things he liked. As a matter of principle, he hated wasting food, eating anything put in front of him. Of course, everyone had preferences and his ran spicy, the hotter the better to be exact, though he’d never advertised this fact.

The waitress arrived with their coffee momentarily, apologizing for the delay. Gavin watched as Emma politely assured the woman it was no problem, before she promptly reached for the sachets of sugar from the container beside her. She tipped the contents of one sachet into his cup of black coffee, stirring it thoroughly before sliding it across the table toward him.

“Here’s yours,” she said.

“Thank you.”

Gavin picked up his cup and took a sip. He couldn’t recall ever telling her how he liked his coffee, yet she knew…because she cared enough to _want_ to know. _Emma truly cared about him._ He felt his chest become warmer, affected much more than he could have expected by her actions. However, that shadow he’d come to loathe was still at his shoulder, whispering different words that undermined the confidence he was fighting so hard to maintain. _Of all the men she could have chosen, why did she choose you?_

“Are you okay, Gavin?” Emma asked when she noticed that he’d stopped eating.

He snapped out of his thoughts and offered her a small smile. “I’m fine. I, uh…just bit my tongue.”

“I know you’re hungry,” she said with a raised brow, “but you should still chew your food slowly.”

The corner of his mouth tilted at the teasing note in her voice. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

After they had eaten Emma cajoled him into taking her for a joy ride by the sea, though she didn’t have to work very hard to convince him. The combination of riding his prized motorbike along scenic seaside roads with Emma hugging his back was his idea of the perfect date. They then spent the better part of the day exploring different routes they came across, stopping by beachfront boutiques and walking along the sand. Later in the afternoon Gavin pulled her into a little shack right on the water, which turned out to be a popular stall selling grilled seafood on skewers. They bought several different types, including spicy fish cakes and chili prawns, which they chose to eat sitting side by side on a bench overlooking the sea. By the time they made it back to Loveland City night had well and truly fallen.

Back at Emma’s apartment they showered together, taking turns to wash off the day’s sweat and salt-spray from each other’s skin. Emma took particular care to cleanse the firm expanse of his chest and each groove between his abdominal muscles, while Gavin paid special attention to her breasts and shapely little bottom, much to her amusement. They went to bed naked…because their night was far from over. Gavin made love to her gently, unhurriedly, taking his time to explore the curves and textures of her body that he now knew by heart, yet he always caressed her like he was discovering the secrets of her body all over again.

Emma gazed at him with eyes filled with adoration, and so much more than he ever could have hoped for...so much more than he felt he could ever deserve. He acknowledged her as he always did; kissing her deeper, embracing her tighter and doing everything he physically could to make sure her body hummed in ecstasy beneath him. Afterwards he drew her into his chest and listened to her soft breaths as she fell asleep. He lay there for hours just basking in the warmth of her body pressed against his, not daring to move more than he had to in case he woke her. _What would it take to keep her in my arms forever?_

Again, he thought of how easy Emma made it for him to imagine eternity with her. Some part of him knew that all he had to do was ask her – all he dreamed of was just one question away – but he did not know if he had the right to ask for her future, not when he felt so inadequate. He recalled promising to always be there for her, that he would never hurt her and that he would always protect her. He wouldn’t hesitate to give his all…give his _life_ for her. Somewhere deep down he knew that one day Emma would ask for more – she _deserved_ more…yet, he didn’t know if _his all_ would be enough.

Gavin’s phone buzzing on the nightstand roused him from his stupor. Carefully reaching for it so as not to disturb Emma, he glanced at the screen, seeing a cryptic combination of words and numbers that caused concern and annoyance in equal parts. It was an urgent summons from Special Task Force HQ. He resisted the urge to groan in complaint, sighing instead as he removed himself from Emma’s side as gently as he could. Emma stirred as he was fastening the zip on his jacket.

“Gavin?” she looked at him through half-opened eyes.

He sat on the bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

“It’s HQ,” he told her, “I have to go. You should go back to sleep.”

Emma frowned. “Will you be going away again?”

“I may have to. I’ll let you know as soon as I get my orders.” Gavin kissed her again, this time on her lips. “You know I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“Please be careful.” Emma took hold of his hand and pressed the back of it to her cheek.

“I always am,” he assured her.

Emma sighed in a resigned manner. “If by any chance you’re back by Saturday, don’t forget about the Foundation Day Festival at our old high school.”

“Hmm? I’d forgotten about that.”

“Minor would be devastated to hear that,” Emma chuckled softly. “That’s where I’ll be on Saturday, and I’ll probably stay at my dad’s house as I need to check on the house anyway.”

“Okay.” Gavin stood up after making note of her plans in his memory bank. “Hopefully I’ll be back by the weekend.”

“Wait…”

Emma tugged on his hand, pulling him down for one more kiss. When she pulled away, Gavin observed that she looked as though she wanted to say something else, but in the end all she did was give him a hopeful smile.

“I’ll lock the door on my way out,” he told her as he headed toward the door. “You take care of yourself while I’m away, okay?”

Emma nodded, still smiling. Then, he was gone.

~*~

Gavin called her later in the day to tell her that he was being sent away on another mission.

“That case I was investigating these past few days turned up some new leads. We had a breakthrough overnight, now I need to see it through.”

“I understand,” Emma had responded. “Please be very careful, okay?”

“I will,” he had assured her. “And, I will be back as soon as I can.”

With Gavin gone Emma threw herself into the new project for the non-profit organization, as well as seeing completion of other works in production. As always, she worried about Gavin’s safety, knowing first-hand how dangerous his missions had the potential to become. She had to satisfy herself with the information Gavin could share, given the strict protocols he had to abide by, especially when it concerned Evols. There was so much she didn’t understand about Evols and the ways they manifested in different people. Her own pre-cognitive abilities were still very much a mystery to her. She had no control over it, not knowing when a vision would come to her, and sometimes she couldn’t differentiate between dreams and visions if she happened to be sleeping when they occurred. Most concerning for her was the fact she still did not understand what _purpose_ her ability was meant to serve.

She was well aware of her own physical capabilities and limitations, yet this had not deterred her from trying. Her conscience just would not allow her to sit idly by doing nothing if there was a chance that she could prevent a disaster or tragedy, no matter how slim that chance might be. Usually she came out worse off. Gavin had soundly chastised her on such occasions, disappointed that she had taken such risks at the cost of her own well-being. She was not cut out to be a superhero like Gavin, she knew this very well, just as she knew that she would continue to try preventing bad things from happening if she could.

Time had a tendency to fly by when one kept busy, and before she realized it Friday had come around once again, yet Gavin still had not returned from his mission. She must have been sighing far too frequently as Minor commented on it when he caught her sighing into her coffee cup that afternoon.

“Are you all right, Boss?”

Emma peered at him from the top of her computer screen, offering him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

“Then, what’s with all the deep sighing?” Minor gave her a meaningful look, before glancing around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Is everything okay with Gavin?”

Emma raised a brow at her friend.

“Come on, Emma.” Minor raised his brow right back. “How long do you think I’ve known you and Gavin?”

“Too long, if you can speak to me so casually,” she quipped.

Minor laughed. “My point is, I can tell that something is bothering you and the only person capable of making you wear that kind of expression is Gavin.”

“How much has he told you about us?” she asked carefully.

“Even less than you have,” he replied, displeased. “I didn’t think it was possible for him to become even more tight-lipped than he already was.”

“Did Gavin ever speak about me in the past?”

Minor looked at her thoughtfully. “He wasn’t against talking about you, but he always had to be prompted before he would share anything about you or your relationship. It’s a good thing his face reads like an open book when it comes to you, otherwise it would be impossible to know what he’s thinking. In fact, I can count on one hand all the times he’s initiated conversation about you.”

“Really? Like what?” Emma had never heard this before.

“I’ll spill only when you tell me what’s bothering you.”

Emma sighed again. “It’s nothing…I’m just worried for him. He’s in the middle of a tough investigation right now.”

“Fibs.” Minor immediately called her out with a sigh of his own. “You’re lying to me, but I know better than to push you about it. I value my job more than I care about sticking my nose into your love life…but only by a hair’s width.”

Emma chuckled. “So, when did Gavin ask about me?”

“Hmm…the first time was when Gavin first learned that I sat next to you in class, he would ask me what I knew about you. Then after we reconnected and he found out I worked for you he’d ask how your company was doing. Oh, and before the two of you began dating, he asked me about your relationships with other men.”

“Other men?” Emma frowned.

“Uh-huh.” Minor nodded, unconcerned. “He tried to be all discreet about it, but he gets really flustered when he talks about you, know? And, to be honest, all of us were wondering the same thing.”

“Who is _all of us_?” Emma’s frown deepened. “And, what are you talking about? What other men?”

“At one point, Kiki, Willow, Anna and I were all wondering if you considered any of the eligible bachelors in your life as more special than the others. I mean, you are acquainted with some of the most influential men in Loveland City, like the CEO of LFG, and that brilliant neuroscientist, and even Ki–”

“I get the picture,” Emma abruptly cut him off, shaking her head. “But, why was Gavin asking about them?”

Minor’s expression softened somewhat. “He was worried that he might be too late.”

“He said _that_?”

“Not in so many words,” Minor said truthfully, “but, as I said, he’s an open book where you are concerned.”

“Really?”

“Emma.” Minor’s expression softened even more. “He’s been crazy about you for the longest time. With the history you have with him, I don’t think his ego could have withstood another rejection. I totally understand why he wanted to make sure there was no other man in your heart before he made his move.”

“I didn’t know that he was so concerned about that…”

“It was a surprise for me, too.” Minor admitted. “I hadn’t seen him that serious since high-school. But, Gavin needn’t have worried because it all worked out for the both of you.”

“Gavin really had feelings for me all these years?” Emma still found it hard to believe even though she’d heard it numerous times before.

“You know he did. So, even if you don’t tell me what you were really sighing about, I’m sure that it’s nothing to worry about and that you’ll both work it out. You two are meant to be together, after all.”

Minor’s words and confidence were intended to comfort her, but Emma could not make herself believe it. Not when there was nothing outwardly obvious that needed to be _worked out_. There had been no disagreement, no argument, and given their circumstances Gavin was probably still none the wiser about her hidden fears and thoughts. _It’s all in my own head. I’m the one with the problem._

Emma stayed at the office late that night, using the excuse that she wanted to get a head start on projects for the coming week. Consequently, she was exhausted by the time she got to bed, falling asleep as soon as her head was on the pillow. However, even in her dreams Gavin had a starring role. In her dream they were walking along the corridors of her old high school, looking back and smiling at him with her hand outstretched. The scene changed and she was sitting at the piano in the music room playing a familiar tune while he leaned against the piano watching her.

The scene changed again and she was watching her reflection in the mirror fronting the wardrobe in her childhood bedroom. She was sitting astride Gavin’s lap on top of her bed, her white school-uniform blouse splayed open with her bra hastily pushed up to expose her breasts. Her grey skirt was bunched in Gavin’s fists at her waist as she rode him, her hips grinding against him while his mouth sucked at her neck. She had no time to process her shock before the scene changed once again, and now she was facing a stone-faced Gavin. She was crying in her dream, her pain so palpable that Emma gasped for breath.

_“Do you see me?”_ her dream-self asked Gavin. _“I’m right here! Please, look at me!”_

Gavin remained expressionless, as though seeing right through her.

_“Let me in, Gavin…”_ her dream-self pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks. _“Don’t shut me out!”_

Emma woke up with a startled yelp, sitting up abruptly as she took deep breaths to compose herself. _What the hell was that?_ It was by far the most explicit dream she’d ever had of Gavin, and it had been so lucid that she could still feel the sensation of his body heat around her. Had talking with Minor about their high-school days triggered her to dream about an alternate-reality where she and Gavin had somehow become a high-school couple? Emma’s face flushed as she recalled the expression her dream-self had made in the mirror. Her alternate-self had undergone a personality transplant by the looks of it, because she could not imagine that her real sixteen-year-old self being so bold or confident enough to have a conversation, let alone engage in acts of physical intimacy with _the_ Gavin Bai. Explicit dreams and alternate high-school experiences aside, Emma had to frown when she recalled the final part of the dream. It was not hard to figure out why her dream-self had been crying. It was her own concerns and insecurities manifesting itself, that much was clear.

Calm again, she lay down and closed her eyes, managing to sleep for another couple of hours before she was eventually woken by her alarm. After a quick breakfast she packed an overnight bag with enough clothing for two days and immediate toiletries that she would need for her stay at her father’s house. She kept a supply of items like toothpaste and bodywash at the house so that she could go back at any time. She tried to visit the house at least one weekend a month as firstly, the change in scenery was good for her; it was much quieter and calmer out in the suburbs. Secondly, she was able to carry out light housekeeping and maintenance tasks around the property that the handyman she hired could not do. Even if the old house was hardly in use, she wanted to hold onto her childhood home for as long as she was financially able to.

After completing immediate chores around her own apartment, she caught a taxi to her father’s house on the outskirts of Loveland City. Minor had already texted her reminding her that the festival was _that day_ and that he would _never forgive her_ if she baled on him, along with instructions on how to find him when she arrived. Her plan was to drop of her belongings at her father’s house before making her way to her old high-school in time for the afternoon events scheduled for the school’s Foundation Day celebrations.

Her childhood home was a modest two-storey brick house with a balcony connecting the second storey rooms. There was a tidy garden at the front, a decent yard in the back and a double garage. The house had three bedrooms and two bathrooms, with an open plan living and dining area downstairs. It was the ideal family home, and indeed she had been approached several times by realtors on behalf of interested buyers; young families looking for their first home to raise children. Emma would not sell no matter how good the offer was. Somewhere in her heart she still harbored dreams of raising her own children in the same house she had grown up in.

Walking in through the front door Emma experienced a strong sense of _coming home_ , as though the house itself was welcoming her back after a prolonged absence. Taking a deep breath, she took in the familiar scents of the house – the furniture polish used on the antique settee and coffee table in the living room, the citrus smell of the disinfectant used in the kitchen, and the dehumidifier brick she kept in the laundry. In the past there would have been smells associated with cooking ingredients and the seasonal fruit her father would always keep in a bowl on the kitchen counter. One day, she hoped that the house would again be filled with life and warmth.

Her old high-school was a fifteen-minute walk away, and given that she had the time Emma texted Minor that she was on the way and proceeded to make her way via the route she had taken day after day for three years. She sometimes rode her bicycle, which cut her trip down to five minutes. She enjoyed riding to school on the days when the sun was shining and she felt energetic – or when she was running late. It had been some years since she’d last taken this route, and she was pleased to see that many things had not changed, despite the passage of time. She was smiling as she rounded the corner on the street leading to her school, which only grew wider when she saw the sight ahead. Foundation Day had always been celebrated with smaller and more formal events in the past, but as it was the school’s 100th anniversary the school board had gone into carnival mode that year.

The front gate was adorned with banners welcoming guests, as well as an enormous archway made of balloons. Student representatives were waiting at the entrance to greet visitors, handing out information about the events and where the food stalls were located. Emma saw that the soccer field had been turned into a carnival side-show with jumping castles, inflatable slides and even a merry-go-round. There were about a dozen food and drink stalls set up next to the soccer field, while picnic tables had been set up beneath the tree-lined walkway to cater to the hungry crowds. As it was already midday quite a large number of people had converged upon the stalls, and with the tables being fully occupied impromptu picnics had sprung up along the lawns of the courtyard, and under the old ginkgo tree. Emma’s mouth watered at the scent of _takoyaki_ and _yakisoba_ wafting in the breeze, but first she had to find Minor.

“You’re here!” Minor exclaimed when he saw her standing at the doorway to the classroom allocated for use by the alumni. “Come in, come in!”

Emma entered the classroom and spent the next few minutes greeting the other representatives of the alumni, as well as teachers, past and present, who had come to the classroom to reminisce.

“So, you’re like a gallery curator today,” Emma addressed Minor, observing her surroundings.

The classroom had been filled with memorabilia and photographs dating back from the school’s earliest years. Sporting triumphs, newsworthy achievements and accomplishments of past students who had gone on to build high-profile careers or exert great influence in their respective fields were lauded and venerated. There were also images of the aftermath of natural disasters which had struck the school in the past, such as the destruction of an old science building when a typhoon tore through the city, and the flood that had closed the school for a period of time. Elderly former-teachers who had been present at the time now told the story for anyone who was interested.

“Ahuh.” Minor nodded enthusiastically. “I know more about the school than I realized!”

“Oh, my gosh!” Emma exclaimed when she came across her name on a board. “They even created a list like this…”

The board was a display boasting all of the years where the school had placed in the top three of the Annual National Young Writer’s Competition, with examples of some of the winning entries placed in frames around the board.

Minor chuckled at her reaction. “Well, you were a high-achiever and you did excel in the creative fields, after all.”

“My poem is here, too. I’d forgotten about this…goodness, did I really write that?”

“Why are you cringing?”

“Because I was sixteen when I wrote it, and it’s cringeworthy.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Minor picked up the frame and read aloud from it.

“ _The old ginkgo tree in the schoolyard had seen many things in its time,_

_And heard many a discussion after the bells would chime._

_Beneath its branches the students would laugh and cry and sing,_

_Yet it never tired of greeting new and excited faces each Spring._

_It was content being a silent witness to it all,_

_Until one day a boy climbed its branches with such gall._

_Be gentle with my limbs! it thought,_

_But all its outrage was for naught._

_The boy did merely shut his eyes,_

_Calm amongst the leaves and the wind and its sighs._

_He spoke no words throughout his school years,_

_Though the old tree yet heard his dreams and his fears._

_When the day arrived for the boy to graduate,_

_The old tree did patiently wait._

_It could not help but wonder,_

_Would the boy remember?_

_Yet when the child did arrive his eyes were full of melancholy,_

_And the tree was saddened that it would never get to hear the boy’s story._

_The old tree parted with a single leaf and watched as it drifted to the boy’s shoulder,_

_This small token was all it could offer._

_A remembrance of the peace the boy had once found in its sheltering branches,_

_A hope that the boy might often reminiscence as the time surely passes._

_The boy carefully took the beautiful leaf in his hands and grinned with complete abandon,_

_A fond farewell for his old and silent companion._ ”

By the time Minor had finished reading the small crowd of bystanders who had paused what they were doing to listen broke into polite applause, and Emma was forced to smile and bow when Minor identified her as the author.

“Ah, Emma! You’re here!”

Emma turned to see Mr. Keller, her old English teacher, making his way toward her with a broad smile on his face.

“Mr. Keller, it’s great to see you again,” Emma greeted him.

“I’m very glad you could make it today,” Mr. Keller said, “you’re still one of the brightest pupils I’ve ever taught!”

“You’re too generous with your praise, Sir,” Emma returned, “it was all thanks to your guidance that I’ve been able to achieve what I have.”

Mr. Keller chuckled softly, before he reached for the framed poem that Minor had just replaced on the display table.

“I remember the day you submitted this for the competition in your second year. You were quite reluctant about it, as I recall. You weren’t entirely happy with the composition, or some such excuse, if I remember.”

“Err...that’s correct.” Emma nodded, cringing at the memory. “I didn’t think it was polished or refined enough for the competition and I didn’t want to cause embarrassment for the school.”

“Hmm…do you recall that the theme that year was ‘friendship’? I’m not sure if I ever told you, but while the judges certainly awarded points for editing and prose, their first emphasis is on whether the theme had been addressed. Yours did, and moreover it was the unpolished, unrefined and innocent childishness of your piece that won you that ribbon.”

“I had no idea!” Emma exclaimed, glancing at a grinning Minor.

“What did I say about you being a high-achiever?” Minor nudged her elbow.

“Now, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask…that boy in your poem, did you ever find out how he felt about being immortalized in this way?” Mr. Keller gave her a curious stare.

“Huh?” Emma blinked.

“The boy who always climbed that old ginkgo tree in the yard…surely you knew who it was?”

Emma’s face flushed as memories from her youth resurfaced, suddenly embarrassed when she remembered what…or rather _who_ had been the inspiration for the poem. Beside her, Minor jumped up excitedly as he was distracted by a commotion at the door.

“Gavin!” Minor exclaimed.

Bewildered at the timing of his arrival, Emma could only watch as the very inspiration for her poem strode into the room to stand at her side. For a man whose occupation so often relied on stealth and avoiding attention, it was ironic how Gavin’s presence almost always garnered the exact opposite effect. His cool demeanor, chiseled good-looks, muscular build and height were an irresistible combination that drew gazes from all around. Emma was no exception. Even as a sixteen-year-old she could not help but steal glances at the senior boy who made her shiver every time their eyes met. Gavin had always possessed an inexplicable draw, and it seemed her eyes always just knew where to find him, which was how she’d witnessed him climbing the old ginkgo tree one afternoon.

“Gavin, you’re here!” Emma smiled broadly at him.

“I made it, just in time.” Gavin flashed her a brief smile in response to her widened eyes, before he greeted Minor and Mr. Keller.

“What a welcome surprise to see you here today, Gavin!” Mr. Keller seemed especially pleased to see him. “I wasn’t sure you were going to make it.”

“My work schedule has been hectic lately,” Gavin said apologetically. “And, again I am very sorry I couldn’t accept your invitation to deliver a speech today, Mr. Keller. But I couldn’t commit to it when it was uncertain that I would be here today.”

“That’s quite all right, there’s no need to apologize,” Mr. Keller assured him. “I’m very proud of the man you’ve turned into, and your dedication to your responsibilities is indeed admirable.”

“Thank you, sir.” Gavin accepted their old teacher’s praise, but Emma did not miss how the top of Gavin’s cheeks turned pink.

“Now, we were just talking about Emma’s poem here…have you read it, Gavin?” Mr. Keller held the frame out for Gavin to take.

Emma felt sweat beading at her brow and she very nearly protested, almost reaching out to snatch the frame out of his hand, but instead she watched with mild trepidation as Gavin read the poem that was about him. Her own cheeks felt like they were burning when Gavin turned his narrowed eyes toward her.

“You wrote this?” he glanced once more at the name at the bottom of the frame for confirmation.

“I did…” Emma admitted, not sure how to take his reaction.

“Hmm.” Gavin put the frame back down and cleared his throat. “I…uh, didn’t know that I had been seen.”

Mr. Keller let out a chuckle. “Indeed, it would have taken keen eyes to have caught you in the act. In fact, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw you up in that old tree.”

“You saw me, too, Mr. Keller?”

“A couple of times,” their old teacher replied nonchalantly, “and I did wonder how you managed to climb those dizzyingly high branches, but you always were the athletic type…”

They were interrupted by the arrival of another former teacher and Mr. Keller shortly excused himself.

“It was great to see you again, Mr. Keller.” Emma waved him off with a fond smile.

“We’ll catch up again!” their teacher waved back.

Afterward Gavin wandered the exhibits at Minor’s insistence, and when Minor was relieved from his post by another representative, the three of them made their way to the food stalls down in the yard.

“I am starving!” Minor exclaimed as he led the way. “I’ve been smelling noodles all day and I need my fix!”

The lunch-time rush had eased and the queues were much shorter by the time they reached the food stalls. Emma was tasked with finding a table while Minor and Gavin went to purchase food and drinks. She found an empty table close to the hot food stalls, within plain sight so that she would be easy to find. From her vantage point she observed as Gavin continued to attract gazes, admiring stares from women who appreciated his looks, and awe from those who recognized and remembered him from their own days at school. As her own eyes travelled the lines of Gavin’s form, it still struck her how incredible it was that her hands were intimately acquainted with those very lines.

Gavin was the first to return carrying three orders of yakisoba in cardboard boxes, as well as a large plate of Takoyaki to share. Emma helped him set the food on the table, feeling suddenly giddy when he pulled his chair closer toward her.

“When did you get back?” she asked him, distracting herself from the scent of cologne drifting from his collar.

“I got into Loveland just before lunch,” he replied, “I came straight here as soon as I’d dropped home and changed my clothes.”

“I’m really happy to see you.” Emma glanced at him through her lashes, her lips parted in a smile.

The corner of Gavin’s mouth rose upward. “I’m happy to see you, too.”

Emma’s smile dropped a fraction. “Will you have to go on another mission again soon?”

Gavin shook his head. “I have the next few days off, and my orders are to stay in Loveland City for the time being.”

“That’s great!” Emma’s smile returned in full intensity.

“I’m all yours for the rest of the weekend,” he said in a perfectly conversational tone, yet there was a tilt to his head and a gleam in his golden-amber eyes that told her exactly how he wanted to spend his weekend.

Emma inhaled sharply, caught off-guard by his directness and obvious intentions. It never failed to amaze her how this man could blush like a virginal school-boy at the slightest mention of anything remotely suggestive, yet be such a smooth operator when delivering lines laden with sexual innuendo.

“Hey, hey! Tone the flirting down, you two,” Minor teased as he appeared at their table carrying a tray of drinks. “I can almost see the pheromones wafting from your pores!”

“Shut it, Minor.” Gavin glared at his friend, but there was no hiding the sudden flush of red across his cheekbones.

“Oops!” Minor squeaked.

Emma stifled a giggle.

Gavin cleared his throat as he recovered, then joined the conversation as they ate their lunch. The three of them had gotten together for meals numerous times since they had all reunited, but this was the first time they had ever shared a meal at their old school. Emma had always spent lunch breaks with her group of girlfriends while she’d been at school, while Minor and Gavin mostly kept to themselves. Occasionally, she recalled seeing Gavin join other boys on the basketball court while Minor would cheer from the sideline.

“This is kind of refreshing, isn’t it?” Minor suddenly said. “Gavin would have given anything to have had lunch with you back then, did you know, Emma? This feels a little…surreal, even for me!”

Emma paused with her chopsticks half-way to her mouth, smiling at Minor’s coincidental thought. “Is that true?”

“Oh, yeah!” Minor grinned. “He knew where you and your friends used to sit at lunchtime, and sometimes he would purposely take the _long_ way to the cafeteria just so he could see you and – ouch!”

Gavin cleared his throat again, quite obviously having kicked Minor’s shin under the table. “Shouldn’t you be finishing your food so you can head back to the classroom soon?”

“Eh…hehe!” Minor laughed as he took the hint. “Ack! My break is almost over!”

“You’re doing a fine job as curator, Minor,” Emma praised him. “How did you end up being a representative today, anyhow?”

Minor shrugged. “Mr. Keller put me up to it. He buttered me up like a slice of toast, saying how I was such a friendly student and so _helpful_ and when he asked me volunteer – and I use that word loosely – I couldn’t refuse.”

“That old man is getting cunning,” Gavin grunted, though with evident affection for their old teacher in his tone.

“Anyhow, will you both stick around to check out the other events?” Minor asked as he finished his meal.

“That’s the plan,” Emma replied, sipping on her iced tea.

“Oh, good! Then, you should check out…”

Minor was just launching into his spiel when Emma suddenly found herself on her feet.

“Watch out!” she shouted.

She was running before she knew it, dashing towards two little boys she’d just seen chasing after a runaway soccer ball which had disappeared behind the yakisoba stall. One of the little boys was now heedlessly crawling beneath the counter, out of sight of the stall attendant tending to customers and the unaware cook, who was tossing a wok full of hot noodles.

“Emma!” Gavin yelled after her.

Emma reached the boy who was still on his hands and knees, grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling him backwards – just as the cook tripped over the soccer ball that had rolled behind him, sending the entire wok and its contents flying into the air. Shouts and yelps rang out as the cook, the attendant and customers in the immediate strike-zone scurried to avoid getting splattered by scalding-hot noodles and sauce. Unfortunately for Emma, she and the boy were right in the path of the customers trying to flee and when someone lost their balance in the commotion, Emma could only turn her back to protect the boy from getting trampled on. Bracing herself, Emma squealed when something icy-cold splashed onto her back, but the impact she was expecting never came.

“Are you okay?” Gavin’s worried voice came from above her head. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Looking up, she saw Gavin holding onto the elderly man who’d been thrown off-balance. On the ground around them was a mess of spilled food and drinks, while the two boys – including the one Emma had just rescued – were now looking at the adults and the apparent disaster they’d narrowly escaped with eyes beginning to brim with tears.

“I’m fine,” Emma replied as she got to her feet. “Just…a little wet.”

“Agh! I am so sorry!” the elderly man began to apologize profusely when he saw that the orange juice he’d been holding had spilled all over Emma. “And, you too young man! You saved me from falling, but your shirt is ruined!”

Emma and Gavin were quick to assure him that no harm was done and that they were glad he was okay. The parents of the two boys came rushing over with horrified looks on their faces. They were very apologetic and embarrassed, bowing to the yakisoba stall-holders and to the inconvenienced customers, and altogether grateful to Emma for saving their son from a potentially dire accident. Minor turned up to help with the cleanup while Gavin diffused any remaining tension. When everything had settled down Minor turned his attention to Emma and Gavin’s juice drenched clothes. Emma’s entire back was drenched, as was one side of her skirt, while Gavin’s once pristine white shirtfront was stained bright orange.

“Come on, you two,” Minor urged them to follow him. “Let’s get you both into dry clothes. You’ll be all sticky if you let that juice dry on you.”

Minor led them to another classroom which was being manned by current high-school seniors who were running a costume photo-booth. After Minor’s explanation and short plea for help, the sight of Emma and Gavin’s pitiful appearances galvanized the students into movement, reaching for available clothing in suitable sizes that they could lend. That was how Emma and Gavin suddenly found themselves dressed in borrowed school uniforms a few moments later.


	3. Closer Than Before

Minor had laughed and laughed when he’d seen Emma and Gavin emerge from the dressing rooms that had been installed in the classroom.

“Oh my god! It’s déjà vu!” Minor had whooped. “Emma, you look like you could still be a student here!”

Emma smiled, slightly embarrassed as the students all fussed about her and begged to let them take photos. Gavin was glad to be out of his sticky clothes, but being back in school uniform gave him mixed feelings. Still, seeing Emma looking just as she had back in their school days rendered him momentarily speechless – which the senior students took advantage of as they snapped photos of the infamous Gavin Bai.

After thanking them for their help, Emma and Gavin exchanged details with the supervising teacher, assuring that the borrowed uniforms would be cleaned and promptly returned in due course. When Minor returned to his post as volunteer curator, Emma found herself alone with Gavin.

“You know, it didn’t even surprise me anymore when I saw you jump out of your seat like that,” Gavin commented.

“There was no helping it,” Emma said with a shrug. “But, luckily nobody got hurt.”

“It’s good that you’re always ready to help people, but please be really mindful for your own safety, okay?” Gavin said, repeating advice he’d said to her before.

“You’re the same, Gavin.” Emma pointed out, looking up at him. “And, before you tell me that it’s part of your job, I know that it’s much more than that. Helping people is ingrained in your psyche. It’s part of who you are, and even if you weren’t a police officer, you’d still be the first person to volunteer in an emergency.”

Gavin stared at her as though she’d said something strange. Emma waited for him to respond with his usual rhetoric.

“This is the part where you say, ‘I’m bigger and stronger, therefore I won’t get hurt so easily’…?” she prompted.

But Gavin merely shook his head. _So, we’re the same, huh?_ It gave him a warm feeling in his chest to learn that he had something in common with Emma, something that wasn’t trivial such as liking the same food or TV shows, but something meaningful. He felt that much closer to her for it.

“Come on, let’s take a walk and look around.” Gavin took the paper bag with their soiled clothes from fingers before firmly grasping her now empty hand.

Together they walked through the hallways and explored the displays and demonstrations that the school’s various clubs and sporting teams had put together. Gavin never let go of her hand the entire time, seemingly oblivious to the giggles of schoolgirls and curious stares that followed them. At one point they made it to the Performing Arts building where the instrumental ensembles were holding performances in the auditorium, but Emma found her feet taking them in a different direction. Gavin followed her to the second floor as she led him towards an old rehearsal room at the rear of the building. Emma realized that it was just as she’d seen it in her dream – she and Gavin holding hands while in school uniform – but was it a coincidence?

“This place hasn’t changed,” she murmured once they had entered the room.

The old piano was still in the same spot at the front of the room, as it always was. She had spent many an afternoon in this rehearsal room, practicing pieces for recitals, or playing random songs just for fun. This rehearsal room was one of the least utilized, which was how she was able to use it as freely as she’d wanted. It was also from this room that she’d witnessed Gavin climbing the ginkgo tree in the yard.

“This is the first time I’ve been in this room,” Gavin said as he trailed close behind her, turning his head to inspect their surroundings. _But I always knew when you were here._

“Look over there.” Emma tugged on his hand and directed him to look out of the window.

He did as she instructed, following the line of her extended finger. Outside in the yard below was the very tree from the poem she had written. The tree was at least a century old, and earliest photographs of the school had confirmed that it had existed in its current location even before the founding of the school. Its trunk at its base was broad and sturdy, and because it had been left to grow undisturbed for so long, its many limbs and branches stretched towards the sky in chaotic, glorious tangles.

“I see,” he muttered, “this is how you knew that I used to climb the tree.”

“Ahuh.” Emma nodded. “But, I only saw you a handful of times, so I didn’t really know how often you used to climb it…”

“As often as you were in this room.”

“Huh?”

“Every time you came to this room to play the piano…if I could make it, I was in that tree.”

Emma’s brows furrowed, realizing that he was making some kind of confession. “What? Why?”

“You always had the window open,” he continued.

She still didn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. “Gavin?”

He turned her, making her look up at him. “The reason I climbed that tree was so that I could listen to you play the piano.”

Emma gulped. “So…uh…you heard me singing?”

Gavin smiled softly. “I did…plenty of times.”

Emma squirmed, her hands fluttering to her face to hide her reddening cheeks. “How embarrassing!”

“Hey, don’t hide your face…” Gavin chuckled, grasping her fingers to pull her hands away. “I enjoyed listening to your singing and playing, and when I graduated, I was really upset thinking I wouldn’t be able to hear it anymore, especially when I’d spent the last two years being treated to my own private concerts.”

“ _Two years?_ ” Emma squeaked.

“Well…you were a year below me, so for the two years we were at the same school, yes.”

Emma’s cheeks were now completely flushed, recalling that her music and song repertoire back then had not been restricted to classical standards. What must she have sounded like as she’d belted out pop-music and anime theme songs?

“I’m mortified…” she mumbled in a tiny voice.

Gavin laughed, then he was pulling her into his arms, crushing her to his chest in a tight embrace.

“How are you this cute?” he demanded.

“I’m not!” she protested.

“You’re even cuter when you deny it.” Gavin’s chest rumbled beneath her palms as he continued to chuckle.

Despite her embarrassment, Emma still recognized the truth behind Gavin’s actions. He had been a teenage boy nursing a crush on a girl who could never meet his eyes, let alone have a conversation with her. Listening to her sing and play the piano in secret had been his way of closing the distance between them that must have seemed insurmountable at the time. It made her heart ache to think of it now, and she returned the pressure of Gavin’s embrace that much harder, and held him that much longer. Still, her already flushed face was imbued with a deeper shade of red when she acknowledged that _she_ was the girl he’d been pining for all those years ago.

As the afternoon’s event came to a close Gavin texted Minor to let him know that they were leaving. Gavin revealed to Emma that he had used his evol to fly to a location near the school before walking the rest of the way, but he now had no intention of flying anywhere when he was content to take his time walking by her side. He knew the direction of her childhood home by heart, having discovered it soon after his evol had awakened. As soon as he’d learned that he could trace her location in the wind her address had been revealed, but he had only seen her childhood home from afar. His conscience prickled when he thought of the measures he’d taken in order to find out more about her in the past…but he drew the line at outright stalking. He preferred to think of it as the desperate actions of an infatuated fool. And yet, Gavin’s heart now beat a little faster at the thought he would finally get to see a glimpse of Emma’s past.

“I walked to and from school on most days, and this is the route I took,” Emma told him as they slowly made their way through her old neighborhood. “I think Minor had the right word for it…it feels surreal to be walking home with you like this.”

“It feels like that for me, too…” Gavin’s grip on her hand tightened.

Emma sensed that Gavin wanted to say more, but when he made no attempt to continue, she chose not to pursue it. Following the incident at lunch, the remainder of their afternoon had passed in an atmosphere filled with youthful nostalgia, and being in their school uniforms had stirred many memories for both of them. She suspected that Gavin had been similarly affected and that his thoughts still lingered in the past.

“Hey, that bakery has really good custard tarts!” Emma pointed to the family owned bakery on the other side of the street.

“Would you like to buy some?”

“Yeah, let’s get some for our dessert later…oh, let’s pick up some things for dinner while we’re at it.”

A short while later they emerged from the grocery store next to the bakery, having purchased ingredients for their dinner that night. Emma held the bakery box with their tarts inside it, while Gavin gallantly carried the heavier grocery bag. He made sure to keep one hand free to hold onto hers, much to her joy. Gavin was not averse to moderate public displays of affection, but hand-holding was something he willingly initiated regularly, and without blushing!

Emma’s childhood home was everything, and yet nothing like what Gavin had imagined. There were antique furnishings and décor thrown in with mid-century armchairs and bric-a-brac sourced from parts unknown. Photographs in mismatched frames adorned the walls and shelves, along with books of all genres and descriptions.

“My dad was an avid reader, and a collector of unusual, erm… _objet d’art_.” Emma told him as they put the groceries in the fridge.

“Did he buy all of these pieces?” Gavin asked, now following Emma to the laundry where she dealt with their juice-stained clothes.

“Some of it,” Emma replied, “dad met many people in his line of work, and he would often receive parcels from acquaintances with pieces they thought he might like or find amusing. And, as you can see…he kept everything.”

Even the kitchen walls were decorated with frames of colorful African tribal art, while glazed ceramic bowls and cups of distinctly Japanese origin were displayed on the countertop. Meanwhile, a small Grandmother clock was tucked into the corner behind the dining table. As eclectic as Emma’s childhood home was, above all, it was welcoming and frequent periods of unoccupancy could not erase the traces of warmth that Gavin had sensed the moment he had set foot inside the house.

“I think it’s fantastic,” he observed honestly. “Your father must have had quite the personality.”

Emma’s smile turned wistful. “He was…not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. I wouldn’t be where I am without him.”

Gavin had learned of Emma’s history in the course of his job, and he was truly thankful to her father for giving her a stable home and the chance to live a life full of support and affection. He had frequently wondered about her home life while they had been students, and now he was glad to learn that Emma had been happy.

“I’m sure he would have been very proud of you,” he said gently.

“I hope so,” Emma said, her smile brightening once again, before she grabbed his arm and began to pull him out of the kitchen. “Come, with me…you want to see my old bedroom?”

“What?”

Stunned, it had not occurred to him that he would get to see her old bedroom. He’d been content with just being in her home, but now that Emma had brought it up, his curiosity had definitely been piqued. Emma had been a constant presence in his teenage thoughts, and of course he’d wondered about the room she’d slept in night after night. Gavin followed her up to the second floor and into a bedroom toward the front of the house. The door was already open, allowing him to see the candy-colored walls before he stepped through the threshold.

“It’s very girly,” Emma said as they stepped inside her room, “but, to me this room was the most comfortable place in the world.”

There was a double-bed pushed against one wall, covered with off-white broderie anglaise bedding and masses of decorative pillows in complementary hues of pale pink, violets and soft blue. A reading lamp sat on the bedside table, while a mirror-fronted wardrobe occupied the wall opposite the bed. Beside the sliding door that led to the balcony was a desk, chair and a bookshelf full of manga. The floor directly beside the bed was covered by a thin rug made of braided cotton, and Gavin saw that a stack of floor cushions had been neatly placed to one side. His brief observation of her bedroom allowed him to imagine a likely series of tableaux pertaining to Emma’s daily life.

He pictured her sitting at her desk in the evenings as she did her homework, leaning back against the cushions in her bed reading a book late into the night, or lounging on the carpet while she entertained her friends in her room. He even imagined her posing in front of her mirror as she tried on different outfits. Gavin’s lips curved upward, amused by his imaginings.

“Your bedroom in your apartment looks remarkably similar,” he commented, “there might be less frills and flounces, but definitely still girly.”

“It’s _feminine_ ,” she corrected him, “I’m a grown-up, now.”

“Ah, so there’s a differentiation…”

“Of course, there is!” Emma turned toward him and glanced up. “What was your childhood bedroom like?”

Gavin shrugged. “It was like most other rooms, I guess. But it most definitely did not have pink walls…I might have had a poster or two…I don’t really remember.”

“I wish I’d been braver back then,” she declared quietly, “then, maybe I could have talked to you…gotten to know you, maybe…”

“Why are you thinking about that now?”

It was Emma’s turn to shrug. “Seeing you in uniform again, and hearing about why you climbed the ginkgo tree made me realize how naïve I was.”

“We were kids, Emma.”

“That may be true, but I regret being so easily intimidated…and you were intimidating back then, Gavin. You can’t deny that.”

“No, I can’t.” Gavin sighed. “I didn’t go out of my way to appear that way, but I suppose I didn’t do anything to make people think otherwise, either.”

“I wish I’d never listened to those rumors about you,”

“Most of them were probably true,” he said with a rueful look.

“I remember hearing about you getting into fights constantly.” Emma scrutinized his face. “I was always shocked whenever I saw you bleeding, but I could never bring myself to ask if you were okay.”

“It was enough for me to know that you were concerned about me,” Gavin confessed, “you gave me a bandage once…a pink one, and I never forgot about it. I knew that I frightened you, and yet you still cared enough to give me a bandage.”

“You still remember that?” Emma’s eyes took on a faraway look when she recalled the incident that Gavin mentioned. “That day at the library, I remember seeing blood on your face, but all I could do was push that bandage into Minor’s hand because I was too much of a coward to give it to you myself.”

“You did more than anyone else,”

“It wasn’t enough!”

“Hey, hey…” Gavin took hold of her upper arms gently, encouraging her to meet his gaze. “Tell me what’s going through your mind, Emma? Why are you getting worked up like this?”

“I can’t help feeling regretful,” she replied, “I’m never going to get to know _you_ as you were back _then_.”

“Eighteen-year-old me left a lot to be desired,” he quipped.

She smiled wanly. “If I had taken a chance…if I’d just had the courage to face you, then maybe we could have become friends.”

“Emma,” Gavin called her name, wanting to pull her out of her reverie. “I was awkward and unsociable, and even if you had spoken to me, I’m not confident I would have been able to string two words together and reply to you.”

He did not add that his eighteen-year-old self would have been rendered speechless simply by being in her presence, let alone actually conversing!

“There’s another reason I’m feeling regretful,” Emma ventured, glancing away.

“Tell me,” he prompted, curious about her shy expression.

“Gavin…what do you think it would have been like if…if we had gotten together back then?”

For the second time that afternoon Gavin was stunned by another of Emma’s questions.

“Gotten together?” he parroted, scrambling for an answer but coming up blank.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “What if we’d gotten close and…become boyfriend and girlfriend?”

 _Boyfriend and girlfriend?_ Gavin’s heart thumped hard in his chest at the mention of those two words. His unrequited feelings for Emma had been the source of both joy and pain for him in his final two years of school. Naturally he’d had fantasies about being able to call her his girlfriend…as well as everything that the title entailed.

“I don’t know,” he hazarded, “what do you think it might have been like?”

Emma’s arms slowly came up the side of his body, her hands gently landing on his shoulders. It was an entirely unexpected move that set Gavin’s heart racing.

“I never dated anyone in high-school, so I don’t know what teenage couples really do,” she said with a sigh, “but, I imagine that we might have spent lunch breaks together sometimes, and I’d watch you play basketball and cheer for you. Let’s see…we would have studied and done our homework at the library, and maybe you’d walk me home from time to time.”

Gavin smiled at the innocence of her thoughts. Of course, he’d had the same daydreams, but they had only been a portion of them. At some point, the natural progression of his thoughts had turned decidedly explicit.

“Is that… _all_ that _couples_ do?” he heard himself ask, pausing and stressing certain words with quiet intent.

“All?” Emma’s expression turned thoughtful. “Um…maybe we’d go on dates after school, or on weekends we were free…”

“I see,” he said, his voice dropping an octave. “Dates are nice…what else?”

Emma picked up on Gavin’s mood at the same moment his arms looped behind her waist. Her eyes drifted to the base of his neck, fixating on the leather cord and silver pendant accessory he was wearing. It had been a week since he’d touched her so intimately, and her body hummed excitedly at the contact.

“We…would hold hands, and hug…and…”

“And…?”

“And, kiss.”

“Like this?” Gavin lowered his head and pressed a soft, chaste peck on her lips.

“Yes…”

“Or, maybe…like this?”

He brought his mouth to hers again with more pressure, coaxing her to part her lips so that he could slip his tongue between them, tasting her tentatively before retreating.

“A little more,” Emma sighed against his lips, pressing herself to his chest.

Gavin complied, and when he slipped his tongue between her lips again, she was ready for him. She twined her tongue with his, drinking him in as much as he was tasting her. She was breathing heavily when Gavin momentarily pulled away, only to gasp when he buried his face into her neck, muzzling the sensitive skin at her jaw and behind her ear.

“What else would we do, Emma?” he prompted further, daring her to name the desires bubbling hotly beneath her skin.

Emma’s eyes fluttered shut as Gavin continued to rain kisses along her neck and shoulders, his words conjuring images of his naked torso and being engulfed in his muscular arms.

“Maybe, I…would have invited you up to my room when no one was at home,”

“To do what?” he rasped, catching her earlobe between his teeth.

Emma shivered. “To… _ah_ …experiment.”

Gavin smirked. He would continue to play along with her little game. He also could not deny that the idea of fooling around in her bedroom, in school uniform while Emma looked almost exactly as she did six years ago was doing crazy things to his mind and his senses.

“Experiment?”

Emma made a mewling sound when his tongue swirled against the skin behind her ear.

“You _know_ …your mouth…” she whined softly, unable to give voice to the _particular_ act on her mind.

Gavin _knew_ , but he enjoyed seeing her squirm, aware that there was nothing false about her demureness. Much like himself in this regard, Emma simply found it incredibly awkward to talk about explicitly lewd acts of pleasure…which was why hearing her mention such words were an incredible turn on for him.

“That could mean anything.” Gavin nipped at her collarbone. “What if I make a wrong move?”

“ _Gavin…_ ” Emma’s whine carried a plea this time. “Use…use your mouth… _on me_.”

 _Oh, hells!_ Gavin was unaware that he had physically growled in response to her words, which had the desired effect on him. The back of Emma’s legs connected with the edge of the bed behind her, forcing her to sit down. She watched as Gavin knelt on the floor before her, parting her knees and closing the gap so that they were face to face. He was tall enough that even kneeling, they were eye-to-eye. The late afternoon light filtered through the curtains in the window, casting a dream-like haze about the room. Surrounded by all of Emma’s childhood possessions in a room permeated with her scent, Gavin almost believed that he really was in a dream.

Reaching out, he lightly ran his fingers through Emma’s ash-brown hair and down the side of her face, cupping her cheek. Emma turned her face into his hand and smiled at him through lowered eyes. The warmth of her skin on his palm distinguished wakefulness from dreams, and Gavin suddenly found it hard to breathe. _I’m not dreaming._ This was real…Emma was right in front of him, presenting him the chance to fulfill all of his teenage fantasies.

“Fuck,” Gavin swore at the moment the wall holding back his pent-up fantasies came crumbling down.

Emma’s eyes widened at the expletive just as Gavin took her shoulders and pushed her down to the bed, dropping his head to claim her lips in a fierce kiss, while his fingers fumbled with the buttons on her uniform blouse. Gavin rarely swore in her company because she’d been brought up never to use such language and he was mindful of that, but she knew him well enough by this time to realize that his use of the profanity meant that something had shaken him up. Clearly, she had done or said something to make him react that way, but by this time Gavin had succeeded in unbuttoning her blouse and she no longer had the capacity to ponder on the thought.

With the two sides of her blouse splayed open, Gavin stared at her creamy skin, his gaze lingering on her lace-covered breasts with a hunger in his eyes that sent tingles dancing along her spine.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Emma,” Gavin said, his voice low and resembling thunder.

He caught her lips for another searing kiss that threatened to steal the breath from her lungs. Gavin was looming over her, straddling her thighs with his knees on either side of hers on the bed, holding himself up with his elbow pressed to the mattress above her head. His free hand was skimming over her bared torso, caressing her trembling midriff and cupping each of her breasts in turn.

“Come closer, Gavin,” she called his name, reaching up so that she could undo the buttons on his uniform, needing to feel his bare skin.

“I’m right here,” he rasped, inhaling sharply when her hands slipped under his shirt, her palms playing at his collarbone and pectoral muscles. “Damn…I still can’t believe I’m doing this with _you_ …that you’re letting _me_ do this to you.”

This gruff turn in his demeanor brought back memories of the tough youth she’d often witnessed cussing out and arguing with the rougher characters at their school. The sight of Gavin’s furrowed brows and sharp stare at the time had alarmed her, but now that same fierce gaze directed at her was causing heat to rise within her body…and a tell-tale dampness to form between her legs. Suddenly, her bra was pushed up high onto her chest and Gavin was taking her breast into his mouth, laving her skin and gently rolling her sensitized nipple with his tongue, not stopping until the beige peak was hard and pebbled. When he was done with one breast, he moved onto the other, this time suckling and nibbling at her flesh like she was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted.

At the same time his hand had traversed beneath her skirt to caress her thigh and palm her bottom, handling her roughly, betraying his own excitement and sense of urgency. She responded to this kind of treatment by moaning into his ear, thrilled by the buzzing tension she could feel radiating from his body, and under the muscles that bunched at her touch. Emma felt his fingers at the waistband of her underwear and she lifted her hips to make it easier for him to remove, but he was impatient, and suddenly he was standing up by the side of the bed, reaching beneath her skirt with both hands in one swift movement.

“Oh!” she gasped.

A second later Emma’s ankles were in the air and her panties dangled from Gavin’s fingers. He grinned at her stunned expression.

“Lay back,” he instructed her, “and bend your knees.”

Obeying, Emma raised her knees and flattened her feet on the mattress, able only to see the top of Gavin’s shoulders and his chestnut brown head as he dropped down to the floor between her legs. His hands curved around her thighs and he pulled her hips closer to the edge of the bed. Gavin lifted her skirt and was met with the sight of her bare mound. She hardly had much hair there to start with, but now she was entirely smooth, and the unimpeded view of her mons and cleft made his mouth go dry.

“Do you like it?” Emma asked in a small voice. “I…thought you might –”

“ _Goddamit, Emma!”_

His mouth was on her then, running his tongue down the center of her cleft and tasting the dew he found there.

“ _Unh!_ Oh...”

Her hands went to the top of his head, feebly grasping at his silky hair, wanting to pull him closer yet also push him away because what he was doing with his lips, teeth and tongue was causing pleasure so acute it was almost akin to torture. His dexterous tongue dove inside her, stroking her from within like only he knew how, sipping at her and nipping at her lower lips, teasing her with every change in the pressure and speed of his assault on her womanhood. He paid careful attention to the little pearl he found amidst her folds, taking it between his lips and applying gentle suction to it, before swirling and toying it with the tip of his tongue.

Emma’s breathing became erratic. This was not the first time Gavin had given her oral pleasure, yet she still could not believe how swiftly he was able to bring her to the brink of delirium. Turning her head, she was astounded to see their reflection in the mirror on the wardrobe opposite the bed. Her lips parted at the sight of Gavin’s kneeling figure between her spread knees, focusing on the contrast between his dark head against the paleness of her thighs. Most of the time she was too consumed by the physical sensations of their union that she often overlooked the visual, but seeing herself writhing on the bed, with an expression of such need on her features it was hard to believe she was seeing her own face.

She was still watching their reflection when Gavin brought his hand up to the junction of her thighs, his fingers forming a loose fist except for his two longest fingers, which he gradually slipped into her entrance, not pausing until she’d taken him up to his knuckles. _Dear gods!_ Emma’s eyes fluttered shut, but the image had been burned into her mind. He began to move his fingers in time with the movements of his tongue, and the dual sensations sent tremors along her veins that began to intensify the longer Gavin worked on her. With the visual to reinforce the physical, it did not take long before Gavin’s mouth on her clit and the beckoning motion of his fingers deep inside her had her crying out in pleasure.

“Gavin!”

“That’s it…” Gavin coaxed, his mouth still against her sex. “Don’t hold back, Em.”

“ _Aah!_ ”

She came with a shudder, gripping the bedsheet beneath her as her body spasmed with her orgasm. Gavin’s mouth and fingers did not stop moving until she had stopped shifting and she lay still, catching her breath. She allowed herself to rest for exactly one minute, before she scrambled off the bed, to Gavin’s surprise.

“Hey, lay back down,” he told her, using the back of his hand to wipe the evidence of her pleasure away from his lips.

She shook her head and tugged on his forearms. “It’s my turn to do…an experiment of my own.”

His eyes widened, understanding her meaning. “Are you sure?”

“Sit on the bed, Gavin,” she instructed him, “and, look in the mirror.”

She decided to share with him the little discovery she had made, smiling when Gavin’s expression registered shock when he did as he’d been told. He would have discovered it on his own, but there was no sense depriving him of a good thing for even a moment.

“Holy shit…fucking hell…”

His continued swearing spurred her on, unbuckling his belt and deftly freeing his burgeoning erection from his pants. Gavin did not know where to look, overwhelmed by the barrage of visuals he was suddenly facing. In the mirror he could see the back of Emma’s head and her diminutive frame as she knelt between his legs, belatedly realizing that she must have seen him doing the same when their positions had been reversed moments before. Looking down, he watched as Emma grasped the base of his cock in her hand and begin to stroke his length deliberately, while she licked her lips in preparation for what she was about to do next.

He clenched his teeth when Emma opened her mouth and finally took him inside, hissing when her hot little tongue fluttered over his glans. She licked his length several times before enclosing her lips around his girth, allowing the moisture from her mouth and tongue to lubricate his flesh sufficiently, before she attempted to move her head in a slow, up and down motion. She accompanied this gently bobbling with careful suctions, hallowing her cheeks while keeping her lips firmly around him to maintain the pressure within her mouth. She had done this before, learning with each attempt, but everything he had taught her came together at that moment.

Her fingers, grasping the lower portion of him that she could not fit into her mouth, moved in perfect synchronization with the motions of her head, while the tightening and slackening of her jaw mimicked the rhythm of her stroking hand. Every now and then Emma would ease the strain on her jaw by alternately running her tongue along his length, or solely focusing her attention on the tip of his cock. Gavin fought the urge to grab her by the back of her head and have her swallow him entirely – the sensation was that intense – but despite her best attempts, Emma was only able to take him half-way, which was still more than he could ask for. Instead, he played with her exposed breasts, kneading them while she continued to use her mouth on him, glancing at the mirror every so often to admire the wondrous view from all angles.

“Look up at me,” he murmured, his voice husky.

Emma flicked her huge eyes up toward him, nearly flooring him with the combined effect of seeing her lips wrapped tight around his cock. He wasn’t going to hold out much longer, not when she was doing everything exactly how he liked it. Emma had never been with anyone else, so all of her actions – every touch, lick and stroke – had been tailored just for him. _Only for him._ This time, Gavin did give in to the urge to hold her back the back of her head, but only so he could keep her steady as he teetered on the brink of climax.

“ _Unph!_ ” Emma hummed around him, and sensing he that he was close, she increased the pace of her movements.

“Keep looking at me… _ahh!_ ”

Emma’s eyes widened as he came into her mouth, yet she stayed exactly as she was, waiting for him to ride out his orgasm. Gavin’s gaze never left her face as Emma continued to accept him inside her mouth. _No one else will ever see this view but me._

He expected her to spit out his semen, as she had in the past, so he reached for the nearby box of tissues after he’d removed himself from between her lips, except she shook her head. Gavin watched, transfixed, as she attempted to swallow it all at first, but it was too much for her and she eventually reached for the tissues to wipe away the excess that spilled from lips. It was one of the most erotic sights he had ever seen, and by far the most sexually risqué act Emma had ever performed for him.

He felt his cock twitch, and a short moment later he was just as hard as he was before.

“Gavin?” Emma gasped in partial disbelief, having seen him turn rock-hard before her very eyes.

“I’m not done yet,” he replied abruptly, divesting himself of his pants and underwear entirely, though he continued to wear the unbuttoned shirt about his shoulders.

“So…so, _soon_?”

“I need you,” he stated simply, his golden-amber eyes flickering with renewed desire.

Emma smiled nervously when she saw that he was completely serious, but the realization that his hunger excited her sent a flush right to her cheeks…and ignited a new flame in her belly. She stood up from the floor and reached for the front-clasp of her bra with one hand, while beginning to shrug the blouse from her shoulders aiming to undress, but Gavin’s hand on top of hers stopped her.

“What is it?”

“Keep it on,” he replied with a wicked smile playing about his mouth. “We’re still playing at being a high-school couple.”

“But these uniforms are borrowed…what if we stain them?”

“I’ll send a cheque to have them replaced.” Gavin shrugged. “You weren’t seriously planning on returning them after all we’ve done in them?”

Emma blushed even more.

Gavin undid the clasp she’d been attempting to unfasten, releasing her breasts so that they readily sprang into his waiting hands. He massaged them in his palms, rolling his thumbs over her nipples until they formed pebbled peaks once more. Emma sighed as the flame in her belly began to spread throughout her body, seeping into her veins and bearing a charge that turned electric everything Gavin’s skin made contact with hers. She touched him back, running her palms over the hard expanse of his chest and the gloriously defined lines of his abdominal muscles, where her hands lingered…because she adored this part of his physique…she could stare at them all day quite contentedly if she could…but that would be unfair to the rest of his body, which was equally as magnificent to behold.

Sighing at her apparent dilemma, she consoled herself by pressing her mouth to his chest, peppering its muscular breadth with hot little kisses that left the subtle, salty taste of his skin on her lips when she licked them. She pressed more kisses to the scars that dotted his torso, and ran her tongue over the darkened patch of skin that marred his collarbone and the base of his neck. Gavin moaned when her tongue went on to swirl around his flat nipple, gasping when she took the stiffened nub between her teeth, and giving it a gentle suckle. He had not been merely standing still while she subjected his body to her unique method of torture. His own hands and lips had been roaming her curves and heated skin too, paying attention to the parts of her that had so far been neglected, like the curve of her shoulder, and the sensitive hollows of her elbows.

Eventually his hands had ventured lower, down over her hips and under her skirt, grabbing at the softness of her butt, and squeezing until he’d had his fill. His fingers ventured lower still, into the valley between the globes of her bottom until he found her most secret of places, which was still damp from his earlier efforts. He couldn’t resist pushing his finger past her entrance, just to see how easy it would be for him if he were to penetrate her then and there…and, there was no resistance.

Gavin groaned at the discovery, and when Emma’s hand brushed against his straining erection, it was clear he’d had more than enough foreplay. He pulled away from her and began to look around the room.

“Condoms, Emma?” He knew that she had taken to carrying them in her handbag.

“I have some in that duffel bag over by the desk –” she began, but he was already rummaged through the bag’s contents before she had even finished speaking. “– but I was going to tell you that I’ve started taking…”

“What are these?” he asked gruffly, interrupting her as he held up a slim box of what appeared to be medication at first glance.

“…contraceptive pills.” Emma completed her sentence.

Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “Since when?”

“Ten days ago,” she replied, but she knew that he would not catch the significance of this.

“Meaning…what?” he asked in a deceptively calm voice, understanding from her tone that something vital had been said.

“They take effect after seven days.”

Ten, was _three_ more than seven.

“Effective, you say…” Gavin looked at a spot above her head before he started laughing, and when he turned back to look at her there was a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Fucking hell, Emma…you’re doing this on purpose, right? You’re trying to drive me mad, aren’t you?”

She never got the chance to respond. A sudden gust of wind blew through the room a split second before she was being crushed in Gavin’s embrace, her mouth captured by his in a kiss that left her dizzy when he eventually allowed her to breathe. She’d flipped another previously unknown switch, she realized too late, but she was exhilarated by thoughts of whatever the potential consequences may be. She was aware that her personality was sufficiently bent, twisted enough to be aroused by the element of danger that never strayed far from Gavin’s side.

Yet, when she next looked into his eyes, she saw that he had lost all interest in games of pretend. There was no trace left of the eager, boyish excitement he’d displayed earlier. Instead, the eyes that stared back at her belonged to a fully-grown man, with a decidedly greater hunger, and with the resolve of the highly-skilled operative that he was to see it through. Emma strongly suspected that she would be nursing aches and pains before the night was through...but gladly so.

“I had no idea you’d be this happy about it,” she murmured, more for her ears than his.

“I have simple needs, Emma.” Gavin responded darkly. “And, you’re the only one who meets _all_ of them.”

He lowered her onto the bed and climbed in opposite her, parting her legs as he loomed over her. The hem of her skirt was pushed out of the way, and for a moment all he did was stare at the puffy, pink lips between her thighs, glistening with the fluids of her readiness, and still swollen from the earlier attention he’d lavished onto her. Emma’s petite opening was clearly visible from his angle, and with her slender legs splayed invitingly as they were, he saw no reason to wait any longer. Leaning forward and bracing himself on his elbows, he cradled Emma’s head and shoulders and felt her tremble in anticipation beneath him. Emma’s vision darkened when his broad torso above hers blocked out the light from the window, hearing her ragged breaths sounding so loud in the narrow void between their bodies as Gavin positioned his erection at her entrance.

He sank into her with one deep thrust, burying himself inside her right to the hilt.

“ _Aah…_ ”

Emma’s moan was accompanied by a slow exhalation at his entrance, still astounded by the feeling of fullness that she felt with his initial penetration. No matter how many times he’d taken her, the sensation of being stretched from deep within always left her breathless.

“Oh, hells…Emma!”

Gavin bit back the string of expletives dancing on the tip of his tongue as he processed the unhindered heat and wetness of her inner walls contracting tightly around him. Other than the first time they had slept together, the only times he’d taken her sans condoms were during the couple of instances they’d been in the shower together. Sex with Emma, with or without a condom was always mind-blowing, but somehow knowing that there was nothing separating him from her made him appreciate her decision to take the pill all the more.

“Don’t hold back,” she told him, “I don’t mind if you swear.”

“I really should stop.” Gavin shook his head. “It’s bad manners.”

“Not how _you_ do it,” she said, somewhat insistently.

Her unusual response made him peer down at her face closely…and that’s when he saw it. Hidden behind her wide and deceptively innocent eyes was the definite and unmistakable twinkle of perversion. Emma had a kink – and he had just found it. Dropping his head so that she wouldn’t catch him smirking, Gavin began to move his hips, withdrawing smoothly before sharply plunging back into her depths. He sighed above her head as the sensations of her coiling around his dick washed over him. He would _never_ get enough of Emma’s body, never get bored with sinking himself inside her again and again. But they were only just getting started.

“You feel amazing,” he crooned into Emma’s ear, “you’re so wet…”

“Gavin, _ahh_ …” she moaned softly.

“ _Goddamn…_ you’re so tight!” Gavin emphasized the word with a strong, downward thrust. “I’m going to _fuck_ you so hard…”

“ _Ungh!_ ” Emma’s reaction was instantaneous, tightening around him and gasping at the same time. “ _Oh_ … _yes_!”

“That’s how you like it, huh?” Gavin continued to thrust inside her, gradually building speed.

“Oh, my…please…”

“Your _pussy_ belongs to me…”

“It’s yours… _all yours_ …”

“I’m the one inside you… _it’s my cock fucking you_.”

“ _Oh, gods…_ ”

He was easily swept up in her excitement, eager to heighten her pleasure however he could. It was worth saying a few obscene words and talking dirty when in return he would get to hear Emma moaning so unreservedly, and see her cheeks blush bright pink while her body hummed with undisguised desire beneath him. Seeing her so turned on only added fuel to his fire, and a win-win situation was always a good thing, in his opinion.

Emma saw stars every time Gavin’s lower body ground into hers, while the ear he’d been whispering such naughty things into felt like it would catch fire at any moment. She’d always suspected that she had this side to her sexuality, but having Gavin confirm it in such a…conclusive manner, had her burning for reasons other than sexual gratification. But, there was no one else in the entire universe that she would rather experience and explore this newly found aspect of herself with other than Gavin. Only he alone would do. Just as he had similarly said to her, she firmly believed that Gavin was the only one who could satisfy all her needs.

Startled by the realization she had just made, her eyes flocked upwards to Gavin’s face, wondering if he had made the realization, too. With Gavin’s strong body incessantly driving into hers, Emma experienced a profound moment of clarity where everything made sense, and formerly jumbled thoughts and feelings ordered themselves so that there was no room for doubt in her heart and mind. The joy and happiness she felt, the uncertainty and worry…all of those feelings stemmed from one blatant truth. She was in love with him, and had been from the moment she had opened her heart to him.

Lifting her hand from where she was clutching his shoulder, she touched his cheek. Gavin’s eyes had been shut, while his brows had been furrowed in concentration, but he opened them at her touch, his amber gaze fierce and hot. There was a sheen of sweat on his forehead and the tops of his cheeks were flushed from his exertion, while the muscles along his shoulders and arms were taut with the strain of maintaining their position. Gavin’s good-looks as a teenager had often been obscured by cuts and bruises, but there was no hiding it now. The wiry youth of the past had grown into the undeniably handsome, utterly sexy, powerfully built man in her arms, and she was going to do everything she could to keep him in her arms.

“Gavin…”

She pulled his head down to hers, pressing numerous, tantalizing little kisses against his lips before plunging her tongue into his mouth. Gavin was her first everything, so it was understandable that it had taken her some time to recognize how she felt about him. But, now that she knew, she wanted to treasure these feelings, because love was not something to take for granted. Gavin had become her treasure.

Gavin sensed a subtle change in Emma. Her mood had shifted somewhat, no longer bold and daring, but somehow the air about them had become much more charged, loaded with expectation. Emma’s soft tongue in his mouth continued to probe and taste, as though she suddenly couldn’t get enough of him. Beneath him, the slow undulations of her hips that had rhythmically moved in time with his downward strokes had become erratic, her back arching from the mattress. He knew it as the early signs of Emma’s building climax, but he was not ready to finish just yet.

Emma missed the warmth of his lips when Gavin broke their kiss abruptly, but before she could express her displeasure there was a flurry of air about the room, sending the curtains and bedding aflutter, and scattering loose objects to the floor. She found herself being lifted off the bed as though she weighed nothing, surprised when she realized that they were hovering some inches over the mattress as Gavin resettled them into a new position. _Being able to control the wind has its unexpected perks_ , she thought as she landed astride his lap, while Gavin sat with his back propped against the pillows behind him. Breathing rapidly, she lined his erection up against her and began to drop her hips onto him, at the same time Gavin thrust upward, impaling her from below.

Catching sight of their reflection in the mirror once again, Emma couldn’t help but recall the dream she’d had. _It’s the same…it’s exactly the same._ Perhaps she really had seen a premonition about herself, but Gavin’s length sliding in and out of her made it hard to maintain coherent thought. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders while he took a firmer grip on her butt and hip, bunching the fabric of her skirt. They fell back into a natural rhythm, speeding up or slowing down in rection to the expression on each of their faces, and the sounds they made. Emma’s thighs tensed each time she raised herself above his lap, relaxing as she came down upon him, just as Gavin would surge up to meet her half-way. Neither was more dominant than the other. Rather, they were more in sync than they ever were before.

Gavin wondered why every movement suddenly felt so much more intense, but since Emma had called his name it seemed that his senses had become sensitized like never before. He heard every sigh that passed Emma’s lips, saw every flutter of her eyelashes, and his nerve endings everywhere their bodies connected felt like they were on fire. He did not know what had triggered it, but he knew that he had to have more. He glanced at Emma’s half-closed eyes and the way she was biting her lower lip as she continued to ride his straining erection, catching sight of her perfect little breasts bouncing in front of his mouth enticingly.

“You’re wonderful, Emma.” Gavin’s voice sounded raw and rough, even to his own ears. “I still can’t believe I get to have you like this…”

He took one of her creamy globes into his mouth, none too gently, making her yelp in a mix of surprise and excitement.

“…So good…it’s so good, Gavin…” Emma whimpered, her hips landing harder upon him.

Gavin answered with a moan of his own, feeling the muscles of her sex beginning to clamp around him like a vice, turning the near-overwhelming sensation to become almost unbearable. Still, he continued to pump into her relentlessly, unable to surrender to his pleasure until he had seen Emma come undone with his own eyes.

“I know you’re close,” he murmured into her ear. “I can feel you clenching me like mad down there.”

“ _Ahh…!_ ” Emma grabbed onto his shoulders and began to ride him in earnest.

“That’s my girl…”

Gavin grit his teeth together as his hard length disappeared into her body over and over, gravity assisting to pull Emma down onto his lap, impacting solidly against the tops of his thighs. Emma screwed her eyes shut as the head of Gavin’s cock continued to hit the deepest parts within her. Her entire body was ablaze from the sensations washing over her, yet there was an inferno at the center of her being, burning hotter than any part of her, and this core had reached boiling point. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she focused on this acute spot inside her body, her fingers digging into Gavin’s shoulder painfully.

“Gavin!” she cried desperately, her hips snapping against him rapidly.

“ _Let me hear you..._ ” Gavin commanded her, thrusting into her as hard as he dared.

“ _Gavin…unh! I’m cumming…ahh!”_

Emma’s arms circled around Gavin’s neck, pressing her cheek tight against the side of his face as her body was wracked by intense wave after intense wave of the most wondrous sensation that had her trembling and sobbing at the same time. She felt Gavin begin to tense between her arms as his own fingers bit into her hips as he neared his release.

“Inside you…” he huffed, “I’m going to cum inside you.”

Emma hugged him tighter, still riding the high of her orgasm. “ _Give me everything…I want all of you!”_

Gavin gave one last, frantic surge unto her before he let out a rumbling growl and crushed her to his chest, his arms locking behind her back.

“ _Argh! Emma…huk!_ ”

Gavin grunted, spilling hotly deep inside her…the first time he was ever spending his semen inside a woman…inside Emma. She squirmed when she felt him release within her, her inner walls convulsing in response to his ejaculation. Gavin’s embrace tightened even more. Up until that moment she had not thought they could be any more intimate with each other, but she’d been mistaken. Beyond biological need, there was a psychological factor at play, she was certain of it, though she did not have the knowledge or the words to express it. She’d shared another first with Gavin, another new experience that she’d never want with anyone else…and, it was the closest she had ever felt to another human being.

Gavin continued to hold her until her trembling had subsided, and until her breathing no longer came in sharp gasps. Eventually, he loosened his hold on her, knowing she would begin to feel some discomfort from being in the same position overlong. He reached up and touched the back of her head, smoothing down her hair and attempting to brush away the strands sticking to her sweat-slicked skin. Emma didn’t move, so he gave her more time to recover herself. However, when time ticked by and Emma made no attempt to get up, he became concerned.

“Emma?” he called her name softly.

She stirred at the sound of her name. Gavin pulled back far enough so that he could see her face, only to be met with a sight he never expected. Emma’s eyes were wet were tears, as were her cheeks.

“Hey, hey…” He wiped at her cheek with his palm, his first thought being he’d been too rough. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that.”

“Then, what’s wrong?”

Emma drew in a shaky breath and gave him an even shakier smile.

“I love you.”


	4. The Truth of It

Gavin’s head snapped back as though he’d been struck.

“What did you say?” he asked quietly.

“I love you, Gavin.” Emma repeated.

His heart began to thud rapidly all over again. He was hearing words he never would have thought he’d ever hear come from Emma’s own mouth. She’d caught him by surprise, and though he was well aware that he should respond in kind, his thought-to-action processes had taken a critical hit.

“That…doesn’t explain why you’re crying,” he heard himself say, entirely different from what he wished to express, and wanting to kick himself.

Emma gave a hollow sounding laugh and awkwardly removed herself from his lap, emitting a small gasp when he slipped from her body and warm fluid smeared her inner thighs. She hastily grabbed at some tissues to deal with it, before facing Gavin again. At her crestfallen look, he began to panic, sensing that he’d messed things up somehow.

“Emma –”

“How do you truly feel about me, Gavin?” she asked straightforwardly.

“How do I feel…?” Gavin frowned. “Emma, you’re the most important person in my life.”

He attempted to take her back into his embrace, disregarding their nakedness, but she held him at arm’s length.

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course, I do!” he cried adamantly. “How could you doubt me?”

“I’m asking because I can’t help feeling that you’ve been trying to keep your distance from me.” Emma made a sad sort of expression, her voice quivering, still on the verge of tears. “I thought I was imagining it at first…there’s part of you that I can’t reach, and I don’t know why. It feels like…like I could lose you at any moment, and that _terrifies_ me. And, if we’re going to take our relationship further then I need to address it…to clear my head, and my heart.”

Gavin’s jaw might have hit the floor in shock if he hadn’t been gritting his teeth. Instead, he stared at her blankly while he tried to process what she was saying. Unfortunately, all Emma saw was the deep furrow between his brows and the sudden shadow that darkened his amber eyes.

“You…knew.” It was all he could say right at that moment.

Emma’s face crumbled, and new tears began to fall. “So, it’s _true_ …!”

“Emma, no! It’s not like that.” Gavin tried to again tug her resistant figure to him. “That’s not how it is, I swear.”

“Then, tell me why,” she rasped, “I need to know _how it is_.”

Emma clutched the halves of her blouse together and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Without a sound, Gavin handed her more tissues, before picking his underwear up from the floor and dragging it on, wanting at least a modicum of decency if he was going to bare his soul. He didn’t even know where to start, but he knew that it was no good for Emma to continue crying. He couldn’t bare the sight of it, knowing he was the reason behind her tears. She’d asked him how he truly felt about her, and so he would tell her.

He reached for her hand again, needing to touch her. She let him, and he sighed with relief.

“Emma…I have loved you, and _only_ you since I was eighteen.” Gavin’s eyes bore into hers. “I’m in love with you now…and I can’t see that ever changing.”

Her eyes widened as his words sank in, her hand flying to her mouth in complete shock. “Are…are you…?”

“That’s the truth.” Gavin’s voice was firm. “But, if I’m going to explain myself, then you need to know everything…from the beginning.”

“I’m listening,” she said softly.

Gavin sighed, and somehow the words came tumbling out. “You should know that after I graduated from school, back when I believed that I would never see you again, I tried dating someone to try and get over you. I tried, and failed. I couldn’t bring myself to try more than once, so I accepted that I never would – get over you, that is. When I look back on it, maybe I was too immature, but I was a still a new recruit at the time and the relationship was over within a few months. I was dumped because I was _emotionally unavailable_ , and somehow she figured out that she was never going to win against _some unknown girl from my past_. It wasn’t fair to her, and I deserved to be dumped…then when I accepted that I’d rather be alone than be with anyone that wasn’t you, I lost all motivation to involve myself in further relationships.”

“Oh, Gavin…” Emma’s eyes welled up again.

“Hey, don’t go feeling pity for me. I made the decision that I thought was best for me, at the time.”

“I’m so sorry…because of me you had to go through that.”

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t know.”

“But, that letter…if I’d read it –”

“You didn’t know,” Gavin insisted. “And, even if you had read that letter, we were both different people back then and there’s no guarantee anything would have turned out differently.”

Emma capitulated, knowing that he spoke sense. Her sixteen-year-old self would not have known how to accept the depths of the emotions Gavin was now revealing to her.

“If you felt this strongly about me all this time…why were you holding back, Gavin? Why did it feel like you were keeping your heart from me?”

Gavin hung his head because the answer was not going to be pleasant for him to say, or for her to hear. He was ashamed of himself and entirely remorseful, but Emma deserved an explanation. Somewhere deep down he had known that Emma would have sensed the wall he’d built around his heart, however flimsy it had been. Despite often being slow to pick up on signals and cues, to the point that her actions could be mistaken for being imperceptive, Emma could be surprisingly astute when she chose to focus on something. He would never underestimate her ability to perceive his feelings again.

“This is going to sound horrible, no matter how I say it.” Gavin steeled himself against the ire he was sure to face, because Emma was unlikely to let this go so easily. “I thought that if I held back, if I didn’t show you how ridiculously weak I am around you…how needy and possessive I can be…how dependent on you I’ve become…it would somehow make it easier for you to walk away, if you ever left me.”

Emma’s gasp sounded ridiculously loud in the quiet room, and his expectations were realized when her face suddenly turned red with fury.

“ _If I ever left you_ …?” Emma repeated tightly. “What…what kind of misguided, foolish reasoning is that?”

“It’s dumb, I know that now.”

“Did you have so little faith in me?” she demanded angrily. “I thought you knew me better than that? How could you think, even for a second, that my feelings for you could be so shallow?”

“This isn’t going to sound any better, but it wasn’t you I was doubting,” he hastened to say. “It was me…I was doubting myself.”

Emma’s expression showed that she didn’t understand at all, but the fury she felt fled as suddenly as it appeared, replaced by bewilderment.

“You’re right. That doesn’t sound any better.”

Gavin ran his hand through his hair, part in frustration because of his inability to explain himself properly, but mostly guilt because he had made her sad. He had never wanted that.

“I’m sorry, Emma.” He squeezed her hand tightly, needing the continued reassurance of her touch. “I really am.”

Emma returned his squeeze, answering his silent plea.

“Just tell me exactly what’s on your mind, and please don’t sugarcoat anything for me,” she told him.

“Okay, uh…that day when you first showed up at the station, I thought I had to be dreaming when I saw you.” Gavin cleared his throat and mustered up some more courage to continue speaking. “I hadn’t seen you since I left school, and I was stunned because I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. Not that I didn’t think you were beautiful before…because I always thought you were pretty, and–”

“Gavin, thank you…I get it.” Emma couldn’t help but smile at his adorable dorkiness she’d been lucky enough to witness on occasion.

Gavin’s ears turned pink, but he continued. “Well, so anyway…I was so excited to have been reunited with you that all I could think about was how I had been given another chance, and I wasn’t going to let it go. I wanted you in my life, so I pursued you, thinking I was prepared for anything, even if it meant facing another possible rejection. But, when you began to reciprocate my feelings, and when we eventually became a couple…I realized that there were some things I was unprepared for. And, I got scared.”

“What do you mean?” she asked softly.

“For a start, I didn’t realize how I’d be affected by the, uh…other men, you were acquainted with.”

“Oh.” Emma’s eyes widened, understanding dawning on her. “You never had anything to worry about.”

Gavin smiled sadly, despite her quick assurance. “It wasn’t your fidelity I was worried about. I was more concerned that someday I would disappoint you, because I’m small fry compared to those three heavyweights, with the least to offer you. Despite logic telling me you were above material wealth, status and fame, I couldn’t help but feel inadequate, and naturally this brought about stupid thoughts of you one day leaving me when you’d had enough of mediocrity…and I wouldn’t have been able to blame you if you did.”

“Oh, Gavin…”

Emma instinctively sensed that there was something deeper and darker lurking behind Gavin’s words, but what became abundantly clear was that he was harboring very real fears, and she needed to do all she could to assuage those fears, or better yet, banish them entirely. She knew that he had not had an easy childhood, and that he was estranged from the remaining family he had, though Gavin never allowed himself to be drawn into in-depth discussions about his brother and father. However, she’d heard enough that, combined with the things he had just told her, she had a much clearer understanding of his damaged self-esteem that he’d tried to piece back together, and the doubts that continued to plague him. She also understood how much courage it took for an outwardly tough man like Gavin, to let his guard down and reveal his vulnerability.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Emma looked int his eyes determinedly as she made her promise. “I’m in love with you now, and I don’t see that changing in the future, be that ten or a hundred years from now…I’m always going to love you.”

Gavin’s fears and doubts would not disappear immediately, she knew that, but at least she wanted him to know that she would be beside him to support and encourage him, no matter what. It was important that both of them felt safe with each other, so that they could always speak honestly and know that their concerns would be heard. Emma hoped that this would be the case for them both, from now on.

Gavin smiled, but his eyes remained clouded. “I’m not sure I can give you the kind of life you deserve, Emma. My job takes me away for weeks at a time, and I know that you constantly worry about me…I saw how my mother waited for my father day in and day out, and I hated seeing the loneliness in her eyes. What if one day you decide that you’ve had enough of waiting for me to come home and worrying about me?”

“I have a lot more patience than you think, and I’m a lot stronger than I look,” Emma replied, choosing her words carefully. “Your job is very important to you, just as mine is to me, and I could never dream of asking you to do anything to compromise your dedication to your job. Also, my faith in you is greater than you could possibly imagine. I don’t know how it was between your parents, but I know that you are _you_ , and I know that you will always come home to me.”

“We would never live in a mansion, or attend movie premiers, and I won’t be winning any prestigious prizes any time soon,” Gavin said in a self-deprecating tone, though the cloud in his eyes were no longer as dark. “I’m the pigeon amongst the peacocks.”

“Gavin…what?” Emma blinked in confusion. “What kind of princess do you think I am? Just, how high is this pedestal you’ve put me on? And, why did you just refer to yourself as a pigeon?”

“I’m being honest here,” he replied solemnly. “I’m just an ordinary man.”

Emma understood. Different from how he’d earlier been comparing himself to other men, Gavin was now stating a simple, unapologetic fact. He saw himself as an ordinary man, and he needed her to accept him as he was.

“I happen to like pigeons very much,” Emma said with a bright smile, taking hold of both his hands and scooching closer to him on the bed. “Did you know that pigeons symbolize love, peace, happiness?”

“Really? I thought it was doves that symbolized love.”

“Doves and pigeons are the same thing,” she declared, “both names actually refer to birds in the same scientific family. I learned about it incidentally when we produced this TV special about wedding traditions, and one tradition was about releasing white doves for good fortune and everlasting love.”

“You’re surprising full of random information, aren’t you?”

“It’s an on-the-job hazard. I pick up all sorts of things.” Emma’s tone was flippant as she continued to hold his hands. “As I was saying…I like pigeons, and I agree that they do symbolize one aspect of you very well.”

“Which is?”

“Your ability to love.” Emma gave him a soft smile. “You said you’ve loved me since you were eighteen, so that makes it nearly seven years and counting, right? And, you’ve said that won’t ever change, so I’m more than happy for you to keep right on loving me. I love that you love me.”

Gavin made a noise that sounded like suppressed laughter. “Okay…I guess I can accept that.”

“But, if I really had to pick a bird that better describes you, I would say you were more like an eagle.”

“An eagle…why is that?”

“Eagles are powerful and are incredible hunters, they also fly higher than any other bird, which I think is pretty fitting for a man who can fly and control the wind. And, they are a symbol of honesty and truthful principles.”

“Is this more random knowledge you picked up at work?”

“Nope.” Emma shook her head. “I learned it from my sixth-grade teacher when we visited the Birds of Prey exhibit at the Natural History Museum.”

“Ah…of course.” Gavin nodded, amused.

“Anyway, these qualities I was mentioning,” Emma continued, “you have them…in great abundance. It’s part of the reason I fell for you.”

Gavin gazed at her thoughtfully. “Can I ask…what else made you fall for me?”

Emma’s eyes glimmered with enthusiasm at his question, her earlier tears already a memory.

“What else made me fall for you? Oh, gees…where do I start? Oh, I love how you’re such a dork sometimes.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sometimes, you’re just so adorably clueless,” Emma elaborated, “like that time I posted on my Moments if anyone knew of a good place for a blowout, and you offered to change the tyre for me, then Minor had to tell you that it meant a hair blowout…like, to style hair with a hairdryer.”

“I’m glad you find that kind of thing adorable, in that case.” Gavin looked nonplussed. “What else?”

“I love your straightforwardness, and your diligence, your strong sense of justice, your ability to eat scorching hot chilis without breaking a sweat is impressive, and the way you rake your hands through your hair is ridiculously sexy!” Emma was really having fun with her answers at this point. “I’m always in awe of how much you genuinely care for people, and that you’re always so thoughtful towards me…shall I go on?”

“That’s really how you see me?”

Gavin’s voice came out lower than she’d been expecting, and it was evident that her answers had surprised him. Emma’s chest ached when she realized that Gavin had probably never been told such things. This man had been without affection for too long, and she intended to make up for the lost time.

“I see you as the man I fell in love with.”

Gavin’s golden amber eyes were now completely clear of shadows, and he was watching her with the softest expression she had ever seen on his handsome face. Emma felt a tightness in her chest when she understood that this was the truest face Gavin had ever shown to her. There were no longer any barriers between them. Her chest felt as if it would burst knowing that Gavin was in love with her too, and that he was trusting her by placing his entire heart in her care. This time, when he pulled her into his arms, she went into them willingly, laying her head on his chest as he buried his nose into her hair. He held her close for a long time, merely kissing the top of her head and stroking her arms while they lay together in silence.

Although they had not been in a relationship for long, she knew that long and lasting relationships required more than love to sustain it. There was work, too, and a lot of learning. She and Gavin were just beginning to lay the foundations of the life they wanted to build together, but love and trust gave them a good start. Communication, understanding, compromise and forgiveness would help to strengthen it, but they could only succeed if they were both giving it their all. It was early days yet, but deep in her heart, she knew that they would be just fine.

~*~

Later, when evening had well and truly fallen, Emma and Gavin sat in the dining room of her childhood home chatting quietly as they ate the dinner that Emma had prepared. Both had showered and Gavin was again wearing his own clothes that Emma had laundered and taken fresh from the dryer. She was in a loose-fitting shirt and lounge pants, with her hair tied up in a lopsided bun on top of her head. It was a common, domestic scene. Reminiscent of their first night together, there was nothing that outwardly proclaimed that both had just experienced a once-in-a-lifetime event barely a couple of hours earlier, but both of them knew that they were changed, and profoundly so.

“You know that pedestal you asked me about earlier…the one you say I’ve put you on?” Gavin mentioned, catching her off-guard because she had forgotten about it.

“Oh, you don’t need to answer that–”

“I think that I do,” Gavin said firmly. “Truthfully speaking, maybe I have placed you up on a pedestal, but…wow, I didn’t know this was going to be so hard to answer without contradicting myself.”

“Now, you’ve got me curious.”

“How should I put this?” Gavin forked more pasta into his mouth and chewed as he pondered his next words, frowning as he swallowed. “I guess you could say that I’ve admired you for so long, for many different reasons, and in various ways as I got older, that it was inevitable that I would hold you above everyone else. I suppose it’s natural for a teenage boy to have delusions about the person he likes, so when I first started to have a crush on you I naturally thought that you were the most perfect, most beautiful, most unattainable girl in the world, which is probably the same as being on a pedestal. I probably did _worship_ the ground you walked on.”

Gavin let out a quiet laugh as Emma sat in stunned silence. She’d had an inkling of how Gavin saw her through his eyes, but hearing him speak about it was kind of confronting, and a touch embarrassing.

“Anyway, when I met you again and I found out you hadn’t changed, I suppose that your place on that pedestal was secured. You’re still the smartest girl I know, as well as the most generous, kindest, bravest, most hard-working, anime-watching and enthusiastic admirer of cute and fluffy things. In my eyes, you were still perfect…but, you were no longer unattainable. You’re flesh and blood, and breakable, and capable of making mistakes. To me, you’re even more perfect because you’re _real_.…and that you were willing to accept someone like me. That thing you mentioned about being a princess…I don’t think you act like one, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be treated like one, because that’s what I’d like to do. I’d love to spoil you as much as I could, if you’d let me. You always brought out the protective instinct in me, and it’s gotten even stronger since we’ve been together…you’re my treasure, and all I want to do is keep you safe.”

 _Treasure._ Emma picked up on the word Gavin had used, wondering if it was pure coincidence that he had chosen a word she’d earlier likened him to, or if there was some cosmic power at work pointing to signs that she and Gavin were on the right path.

“It’s a lot to take in,” Emma murmured quietly. “I knew you had strong feelings for me, but I never suspected…”

“I didn’t mean to overwhelm you,” Gavin said gently, “I just wanted you to know what’s been in my heart this whole time.”

“Your heart.” Emma paused as she deliberated how to say what she wanted to tell him, to convey just how much his words had affected her. “Your heart is a wondrous gift…thank you.”

Gavin reached for her hand across the table and brought her knuckles to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her skin.

“Thank you for being my girlfriend.”

It was the first time she had ever heard him refer to her as his girlfriend. It was a small thing, compared to everything they had said that evening, but it still caused her heart to skip a beat. Emma smiled at how at home Gavin looked sitting at the dining table she’d eaten countless meals at growing up, while Gavin felt the calmest he had ever been in years. Each began to picture versions of their future together, not considering that they might be getting ahead of themselves, merely indulging in their own daydreams.

“I can understand why you don’t want to part with this house,” Gavin said as he finished his plate of pasta. “It’s comfortable here, and when I first walked in it almost felt as if…as if the house was welcoming me home.”

Emma stopped eating and tilted her head, watching him curiously. “I’ve always felt that, too.”

“It’s a great home for a family,” Gavin continued, “especially if there were children.”

Emma swallowed and put down her fork. “Could you picture us living here with…with our children, one day?”

Gavin blinked, as though he’d just realized what had just been said between them. He returned her gaze carefully, studying every line and angle of her face, seeing the hope in her eyes.

“I can.”

There was a promise woven tightly within those two words, spoken quietly, but with determination. Emma’s answering smile lit up her entire face, though she didn’t say anything else as she resumed eating. She and Gavin were picturing the same future. A future that included a warm home, marriage somewhere along the line, children someday…and many days spent together, where she would just lay her head on his chest with his arms wrapped around her.

Gavin had thought that the future he was dreaming of was far too simplistic, but there was nothing wrong with that. Moreover, he was far too overjoyed with the knowledge that Emma was going to share that future with him. Her love was always going to there for him to come home to. Their love did not need to be complicated. A simple love was what they had, and he wanted for nothing more. Across the table, Emma smiled at him again when she caught him staring at her. Gavin smiled back, his expression one of contentment.

All he had ever truly wanted, was already his.

~ The End ~


End file.
